Calling those that have been successful!

[frukt]

Hi! I have struggled with weight for the past few years. I had 3 kids in 3 years and the youngest is now 2 and I finally have time to focus on myself.

I’m 5’3, 162lbs. 40 years old. My metabolism is wrecked after years of yo-yo dieting and on/off phentermine usage.

During COVID, I was able to get down to 150 after my second child with macro counting and Beachbody, but I don’t love the idea of weighing all my meals in front of my kids. I’ll do it, but I’m trying to teach them intuitive eating (which I struggle with).

For the past 6 months, I have been doing barre / barre cardio / barre strength classes an average of 3x/week as well as aiming for 7,500 steps/day (full time WFH so I try to fit in my steps when I can). I meal prep on Sundays and eat a salad with chicken for lunch 4 days/week and have upped my breakfast most days to be an egg, an egg white, sausage or bacon, feta cheese to focus on more protein. Dinners are generally healthy with lean meats, vegetables & quinoa or rice. (Example — this week we had quinoa bake with lean turkey, turkey lettuce wraps, rigatoni with beef & salad), I am mostly consistent, but being honest with myself, I could amp that up as I do crave sugar. I don’t drink sugary drinks. I drink alcohol once or twice a week on the weekends.

Despite all my changes, I haven’t lost a pound. In October, I did a “metabolic reset” with a local company and took a bunch of supplements and basically ate < 1K calories a day and lost 7 pounds in 6 weeks. But nothing since then.

If anyone has any tips, I’m all ears. I think part of my issue is consistency, but I guess I would have assumed that even with these small changes, I’d see a positive impact even if it was very very slow. But nothing at all!

 

[jeanjason0209]

@frukt Your metabolism is not wrecked. You don’t need programs or gimmicks or for someone to tell you anything you don’t already know: sustainable weight loss is just about being consistent, patient, and accurate.

Don’t try to make any changes yet - just track what you are eating for a couple weeks, as accurately and honestly as you can. If you are weight stable, now you know your maintenance calories. Find a way to eliminate 250-500 calories a day and you will lose 2-4 pounds a month. You may need to start weighing and being stricter as you get leaner, but this should get you started.

 

[junkyarder]

@frukt Unless you have a legitimate medical diagnosis, your metabolism isn’t wrecked by dieting.

I think you just need to focus on consistency. I find that to be one of the hardest but also most important part of the deal.

Remember, no one is 100% perfect, but if you can get the momentum going it’s golden.

Meal prep- take the time to get a few days worth of batch cooking done. Use a food scale (I like to do all the weighing and measuring done same time as batch cooking). This sets you up for success and avoids caving because the food is already there and ready.

 

[tobyp]

@frukt Quitting alcohol helps so much. Not only is alcohol full of empty calories it causes some pretty heavy bloating.

You probably are eating in a calorie deficit during the week and then going over your TDEE during the weekends. And so by the end ot the week you're no longer in a deficit.

When you're petite it's really hard to have cheat days. I have a pretty serious sweet tooth. I've worked to find alternatives like making oatmeal with chocolate protein powder, frozen fruit bars, frozen Greek yogurt bars, dessert flavored protein bars. But on weeks I want a real dessert like a slice of cheesecake I have to work hard the rest of the week to make sure my calorie deficit is legit or else that 1 slice of cheesecake kicks me out of my deficit.

So it's like you think you're in a 500 calorie a day deficit. But youre actually only in a 200 calorie deficit cause instead of using 100 calories of salad dressing it was 150 and instead of 50 calories of oil when cooking it was actually 100. And so by the end of the week when you have that 1000 calorie slice of cheesecake you were only in a 1000 calorie deficit instead of 3500 calorie deficit and so you're back to net zero.

But you don't have to weight everything if you are really trying to avoid it. Dont put dressing on the salad. Dip your fork into the dressing first and then eat. I recently switched salad dressings from one that was 110 calories per serving to 70. It's not much but it makes me feel a little better about my margin of error and it tastes literally the same. I have an oil spritzer I use during cooking instead of pouring oil into the pan. I try to make sure over half my plate is vegetables with most meals. I do my best to fill my day with healthy snacks. I aim to get at least 25g of fiber and eat minimum 5 servings of fruit and vegetables.

 

[intermediary]

@frukt 49 yo, healing hormone imbalance. I’ve been successful, even though the process is slow.

1. Download Macro Factor. This app has been a real game changer for me (thanks to this sub for the rec). Set your goal and rate and weight loss (be realistic). Set your macros to extra high protein. Then become militant about weighing your food down to the gram and logging it. It’s cumbersome at first but once you get the hang of it, it becomes second nature. This app really helped me dial in on my calorie deficit. Even with a 250 calorie deficit I’m losing, albeit slower, but if you’re in a deficit you will lose. When I’m stagnant I know I’m not being as diligent. The app also adjusts every week hour calories based on your rate of weight loss which you’ll log daily from your scale weight.
2. Make sure you’re eating 125g -130g of protein per day. This is crucial. If you’re accustomed to meal prepping then batch cooking your lean proteins will be easier. I try and do 30g at each meal. So your breakfast will look more like 1 egg + 1/2 c egg whites scrambled plus chicken sausage and add some veg for nutrients and fiber.
3. Lift weights. I cannot stress how much this has been a game changer for me. I’m seeing better results from this than anything else I’ve done. I also do Pilates so your barre will be a nice compliment. Plus lifting is so crucial for us middle aged ladies.
4. I cut out booze, sugar, grains, minimal diary, and heavy starchy carbs like rice in favor of tons of fibrous veggies. I know this isn’t for everyone but it’s been such a game changer in my bloat, gut health and hormone balance.
5. I got bloodwork done and now have a host of supplements to support my body where I’m lacking. Omegas, Vit D, Magnesium, etc. I also tested my hormones so I’m doing HRT for that. You may not be at this stage but understanding what your body is missing and what you can augment will be very helpful. Sadly, our food is nutrient deplete in the US so many of us are deficient on so many fronts.
6. Sleep. Prioritizing this has also helped me tremendously. Plus cutting out booze has improved the quality of my sleep 10 fold.
7. Patience. This is a long game. I’ve come to terms with this. My last 10lbs will probably take a year and I’m okay with it. No longer does drinking wine and eating some cheese get me to my goals. Consistently feeding my body with healthy, clean foods and moving it daily is a prerequisite for being the best version of myself.

Sending you

 

[cheino]

@frukt Tbh I've only ever really succeeded with counting calories. Once I've been counting calories for a while my appetite adjusts and I can estimate without worrying about accuracy and just not snacking or eating past fullness works, but when you're already used to eating a diet that made you overweight, it's really hard to just eyeball the correct portions even if you pick healthy options.

I think this is particularly a petite problem because portion sizes aren't made for our heights, so we can't just eat what's seen as a "normal" amount - after all, 165lbs would be a perfectly healthy weight at like, 5'10".

 

[wowreallyguys]

@frukt Please listen to everyone - your metabolism isn’t wrecked, you do not need any products or program. The ONLY way to lose weight is a calorie deficit. Which means eating less than you burn. Your body burns a certain amount of calories a day no matter what you do, you can exercise to increase what it burns. Eat less calories than you burn and you will lose weight. You can eat anything as long as you’re in a deficit you will lose weight.

 

[teacher2002]

@frukt I am 42 with 2 kids, 5'3 and currently 155lbs. I have not been able to lose weight for years and blamed it on being short, having low metabolism, high cortisol, blah blah blah. Weighed in exactly one month ago at 161.4. I decided to stop lying to myself about what I am actually eating and paid for a Macro Factor subscription. Best $12 I have spent in a long time. It took about 3 weeks of daily weigh ins and meticulous tracking of everything I put in my mouth, but I now know what my TDEE is (2037 calories) in real time. This means if my activity level goes up or down, as long as I am entering daily food intake and daily weight, the app will automatically update. I currently have it set to lose .85% of my body weight per week and have actually seen the scale for the first time in atleast 5 years. I have had a fear of scales which is now replaced with curiosity as to how my body works. If this sounds like an ad I apologize. It has been such a relief to know my body is working just fine, my food tracking was not. Also, volume eating is your friend.

 

[treadstone]

@frukt Okay, might not be a popular concept, but I'll tell you what's worked for me. I don't have kids, so I don't know how I'll feel about all this when I do. But a few months ago I asked myself, "what would I have to do so that I never worry about my weight again?" I wanted a way to stay lean without thinking about it. Then I read somewhere that a very high % of people who do maintain lean frames over the long term implement some form of dietary restriction/rules for themselves to make sure they're on track. Some people weigh frequently, so they can rein it in quickly if they see a negative trend. Some track their food, some eat on certain time schedules, some never eat desserts, etc. But many of the people we admire, physically, do have some sort of rule that they're following, which means they do actually think about it. It doesn't just happen naturally.

Realising this, and also knowing that I'm short and work a desk job so I don't have quite as much caloric leeway as some people might, I committed to tracking and weighing my food, and it worked. I also get so much great data from my Apple watch around steps, calories burned (I don't trust the number, but it's useful for comparing between days/weeks etc.), sleep, and other metrics like HRV/RHR/VO2max that show me my fitness is improving. I weigh daily but track weight loss progress as a weekly average.

I feel like some degree of "rules" (at the moment for me it's a caloric deficit, but will soon be a maintenance number, maybe a bulk one day) combined with some level of measurement (tracking, weighing etc.) is going to be key for me, and if not for my entire life then at least for a very long time until I can truly do this intuitively.

I know for a lot of us shorties that tracking/weighing food really was key. So that brings up your dilemma with the kids. I don't know that it's necessarily harmful for kids to see you weighing your food (again, currently childless, you know your kids/philosophy). If it was me, I'd be trying to explain how I use this data to achieve my current goals, which would be a reduction in body fat, but I could also show them that I use this alongside many other data points and I would use it just the same if I was trying to build muscle, or stay the same weight, etc.

I think there's something empowering in showing kids that you can have control over how you look/feel/perform, and these are some of the tools we can use, in a very neutral way. It's not about hating yourself, it's about using the tools to help you feel better and reach your goals. I'd rather my kids understand that than have a sense that their weight is not something they'll ever have any influence over (comments I hear frequently from my very young nieces, in a very sad tone). With all the processed food and sedentary environments we live in, I think having these tools has to be a good thing, given what these kids (and us!) are up against! I get that it's so sensitive though — that's just how I'm thinking about it at the moment.

You've got this! Hope it all works out for you

Edit: typo

 

[jamieredheaduk]

@treadstone Yeah! I never used to count calories. I just chose to not eat unless I felt that belly churning hunger feeling and then I would stop eating when it went away. I drank only water, and if I hit 120, I would "fast" for a day to get back down. I never counted anything. I am around food 24/7 now though preparing snacks for my growing kids so I have to count calories or I just get caught up grazing and gaining lol

 

[aichan]

@frukt I’m down from 158 to 119 right now and it took about a year. What helped me initially is completely cutting out alcohol for a year. I then started counting my calories. 1200-1400 is what I was eating. I used the macro app. I would track for about a month go back to maintenance and then track again. Foods I was eating include:

Breakfast: Greek yogurt with berries and mixed nuts, omelettes with veggies and turkey

Lunch: tofu bowls and that included tofu with homemade peanut sauce and mixed veggies. Sometimes a sandwich on Ezekiel bread. Always turkey sandwiches.

Dinner: salmon with veggies.
Tempeh and stir fry and some type of marinade.
A lot of different salads (salad lab has good recipes).

Snacks: carrots with hummus, dark chocolate, protein shakes, Greek yogurt.

The first month I did completely cut out processed foods and that helped a lot.

There were some days I would eat out but if I were to get a sandwich I wouldn’t get fries or chips with it or just eat less of what I was eating.

Now I really don’t drink at all, I haven’t had a drink in about 2 months and I eat the same foods. I did an overall lifestyle change and I feel healthier. Eating a lot of ultra processed foods and alcohol is what made me gain weight in the first place and cutting it out also helped out a lot

 

[jamieredheaduk]

@frukt If you want to lose weight you DO have to count every calorie. That's just how it is. You don't have to weight the food. Just measure it. If it's not 100% perfect that's ok. But you have to be accountable. If I ate things like quinoa and rice I would have no chance in hell of losing anything.

Calcium and protein have to be the focus. I wouldn't even worry about carbs. If you aren't doing keto, you're getting the carbs anyways.

It's a huge decision, and a huge committment. I am where you are with the kids and everything, and I am logging every BITE into myfitnesspal. Even one single slice of orange gets logged. Just until I lose what I want and then I will stop logging and just be "aware".

 

[soul_searching_gal]

@frukt I totally understand where you are coming from. I have two kids, a full time job and went from 164 to 115 (I am 5’4”).

I have found the key to success is super basic- count calories, increase protein, sleep well and exercise. I lost weight by tracking all of my food, eating 1200 calories per day and working out six days per week (I run five miles 3x per week and lift weights 3x per week). Some people will say that 1200 is too low but for a short woman in her 50s with a desk job, it was right for me. My maintenance (including exercise) is only 1600.

I totally hear you about teaching your kids to eat intuitively but I found that I am generally not successful unless I weigh/ track everything. It is too easy to underestimate your calories and people like us have so little room for error. Perhaps you can weigh/prep your food when they are out of the room?

The most important thing, though, is consistency. I rarely eat out, I almost never drink. Some people might say that it is not worth it but I feel great. The reality is that we cannot eat and drink everything we want and still be healthy. Exercise is also great for my mental health. I just had to prioritize it and stop making excuses, which is hard to do when we have as much going on as we do.

This will definitely get easier as your kids get older. You got this!

 

[nwmiwu]

@frukt I lost weight years ago while doing more or less the same as you, and I feel it was around this 6 month mark where the pounds really started melting off. So continue your routine, don’t stop!
I will say that I was working out 6 days a week, and continually upping either the time or intensity of my workouts. Eating only clean foods was a big help.
I bet if you start trying on different clothes you may notice they fit differently. You may be losing fat and gaining lean muscle, which is awesome but doesn’t always show progress on the scale. Great job!!

 

[inthepottershands]

@frukt weight loss is so simple that it can be boring. so people spice it up with fancy programs and supplements. in reality all u need is caloric deficit, which involves calorie counting (weighing and tracking food and beverages) and making steady sustainable lifestyle changes - enjoyable form of exercise and better food choices.

determine ur TDEE, choose appropriate deficit and commit to it. also, i really don't see how children's intuitive eating experience would get impacted by watching u using the kitchen scale.

u seem to be doing well and choosing all the great foods, so it's the lack of accuracy. the amount of food we can eat while losing weight often looks underwhelming and far from normal human portions, so eyeballing and guesstimating is not way to go about it. and once u start tracking all that alcohol, it might also discourage u from drinking since "i could eat whole bag of popcorn for these calories" will kick in