getting fit seems pointless to me as i don’t enjoy exercise or less food/healthful food. isn’t life about finding joy? help change my mind

[promiseokon]

exercising is the absolute bane of my existence. it hurts, it’s doesn’t feel good, and i’ve never /seen/ any changes within myself from sticking to it for any period of time. i weigh about 230lbs when ideally i should weight about 90-100 pounds less. if i’m meant to spend my life finding what makes me joyful, why should i be doing something that i hate so much? i don’t drink i don’t do drugs, so food and relaxation are my only two vices. i also have an issue with craving immediate satisfaction so that’s another reason why i have such a hard time with this. this post is a mess. H E L P

 

[anoymous51]

@promiseokon What kinds of workouts are you doing? Are you doing all of the "gym bro" stuff?

It seems you're going too hard in the paint too soon. On top of that, you sound really unhappy just in general, which I'm sorry about. I would advise working on that first and foremost. For exercise, just start by going for a walk as often as possible. Burns almost as much calories as running without any of the cortisol. Then, instead of "cutting out" foods you love, add more foods you need.

Take it slow. Ease into it. Do all the gym bro stuff and the calorie counting once your body gets used to moving.

 

[christopherhitchens590]

@promiseokon Everybody likes to lie and say working out feels good. It doesn't. It's painful because muscles get stronger only when forced to. I can guarantee working out will never feel good. And not eating the food you want is self torture.

I myself have wanted to get fit. But working out is bullshit. Not to mention you (general) look stupid as hell doing it. So if you're self conscious, you'll never find yourself sticking with it. If you don't want to eat crappy food compared to your normal, you won't stick to a diet.

Sure you can still get fit, it just requires you to accept that working out is stupid, painful, unpleasant, and will likely leave you bitter. But if you want it enough, you can delude yourself into thinking it's worth it. F* enjoying life though. Not possible.

 

[anoymous51]

@christopherhitchens590 I don't entirely agree with this. Exercise can be a lot of fun when you find something you love doing. I agree you can't escape it feeling like shit, especially if you go too far. I love riding bikes, for example, but it's hard, especially for someone who A) didn't learn to ride as a kid, and B) lives around a lot of hills. But no matter what, I always come back to it for whatever reason.

That combined with not even that strict of changes to my diet caused me to lose 9 lbs without even thinking about it. It doesn't have to be as unbearable as all that is all I'm trying to say.

 

[judahreese]

@christopherhitchens590 It sucks when you're fat and unfit. But once you get fitter and stronger, it feels great. Endorphins are real, and humans evolved to move their bodies.

There is physical activity that is suited to a whole range of people. It doesn't have to be running or picking heavy things up and putting them back down. It could be skating, climbing, swimming, dancing... whatever. There's a whole wide world.

You're more likely to be bitter if you sit on your ass wondering what could have been.

 

[gift2christian]

@judahreese So what do I do if the thought of bad health or not being around for family isn’t enough to make me want to change? I know I should be losing weight and be in shape but honestly I mostly don’t care about my health , however it eats at the back of my head that I should be doing something about it.

Maybe I need a bad health scare to get that metaphorical boot in my ass? Idk

 

[welsh47]

@gift2christian For me, wanting to exercise started a few weeks after I started exercising. From then on, it became pleasurable in between the pain of it, as well as something I look forward to doing. The noticable health results are a motivating factor too.

 

[kingshellie]

@promiseokon I get how you feel, this was me my entire life up until a year and a half ago, when i started working out almost everyday and basically got sick if i missed a workout (so basically from hating it to being obssesed with it*). I can't really tell how did i get to that point. I just decided to be a little bit more consistent with my workouts, and eventually started seeing results that made exercise seem more enjoyable.

I know it'll be imposible for you to see any kind of joy in excercise right now, but i promise you that if you stick with it, just for a year, and get your nutrition in order as well (almost more important, IMO), results alone will make you start liking it more. Also, you don't have to slave two hours at the gym everyday, or run 10 miles or do hot yoga for five hours. Things as simple as getting 10K steps everyday, a 30 mins. routine you can do at home, signing up for a group class you think you might enjoy, will get you on the right track. Working out is most definitively not the same at 230lbs than at 180 or 160. As you start loosing weight, and your body begins getting used to the extra activity, it'll become easier i promise.

TL;DR: Just keep trying, eventually it'll suck less and you'll realize how good it actually makes you feel.

 

[recycle91]

@promiseokon I hated it at first because I was so weak, and when you first start you get horrible DOMS. After sticking to my lifting routine and going to the gym consistently for 3 months I started liking it. I started LOVING it once I actually became strong and could see my results.

It's a joy to see yourself improve, achieve your goals, and know that you are healthier. I was able to do my very first chin up from a dead hang and squat my own body weight a couple weeks ago and I can't accurately put into words amazing it felt, because never in a million years before did I think I could ever do something like that.

Find a exercise plan you like. Try lifting (like r/StrongCurves), swimming, HIIT, or even yoga, anything to get started. Be aware though if you have a high body fat %, it may take longer to see your results, but your results WILL be there.

 

[dawn16]

@promiseokon Does your current lifestyle really bring you joy or just help you avoid the discomfort of making a change? I hate doing housework and chores, but I love living in a clean house.

Eating food and relaxation are not vices. I try to follow the 80/20 rule for my eating. 80% of my calories are for nutrition, 20% are for fun. I can still hit my macro and calorie goals AND have icecream. Relaxation is great, sloth is not. Try listening to your favorite podcast or an audiobook while taking a walk in a park- so relaxing! Sitting on the couch watching TV for hours is not relaxation, it's escaping.

 

[promiseokon]

@dawn16 damn julia u got me there . thanks for the advice!!

 

[misslena]

@promiseokon I weigh 224 lb and I used to feel the same way you do. I grew up with a minor disability as a kid that prevented me from being active when I was in early elementary school. By the time things were resolved enough for me to be able to play outside or do a sport, I was miles behind all the other kids. I hated being bad at stuff, so I stuck to other hobbies instead. I’d try working out for weight loss periodically, I’d hate it, it wouldn’t work anyway, and then I’d give up again, even more convinced that exercise wasn’t for me.

But I kept trying it here and there. Eventually, I realized that if I kept trying it, and the thought kept nagging at me, that it was probably something worth really exploring. I hate traditional cardio too, so I started exploring other types of exercise instead and finally found my niche.

My advice: stop thinking of exercise as a way to lose weight. Don’t worry about how many calories you’re burning or if the exercise you’re doing is a good one for weight loss. Instead, look at it as an active hobby. When I’m working out to lose weight, I’m miserable. Finding workouts that I like and am passionate about made all the difference. Now I go work out because it’s fun and I like how I feel after. I feel a lot more at peace with my own body, my joints hurt less, my mobility has increased, some days I even genuinely crave salads. I’ve only lost about 9 lb in the year I’ve been active again, but the impact on my life has been so much bigger than just the scale.

Is there something you’ve always thought looked fun, or thought “maybe someday, if I’m smaller”? Try those things! You might like hiking in nature. You might enjoy yoga (even if you’ve hated videos, try a studio!). Dance classes, aerial silks, martial arts, weight lifting, swimming, kayaking, rock climbing, adult rec leagues - there are so many different ways to be fit!

I personally do hot yoga and weight lifting. The yoga is SO good for my mental health, and being flexible for the first time in my life is fun. Lifting heavy weights makes me feel badass and more confident. I’ve dabbled in a bunch of other stuff too. Some of it was awesome, some of it wasn’t for me, but it’s been fun to experiment and reconsider what counts as “exercise.”

 

[1c916]

@promiseokon Exercise doesn't have to be done in the gym. You can exercise and become fit without ever lifting a weight or stepping on a cardio machine. It can be as simple as going out and walking along the river or lake for 30 minutes a day. Picking up your phone and finding a game like pokemon go or geocaching.

You can go out and try kayaking or stand up paddling, swimming, skating, or cycling.

Here's the thing, exercise does more than build muscles and make you look good. It's going to make you more sensitive to insulin and reduce the risk of T2 diabetes, reduce heart disease, and reduce the risk of several other diseases. Also, god forbid IF you ever have to have surgery having some sort of decent fitness will make recovery faster and reduce the risk of complications.

It's not the end all be all, the key is figuring out what you enjoy and don't torture yourself with stuff you hate.

 

[christinspired]

@promiseokon Cardio decreases the chance of cardiovascular disease and Alzheimer's, lifting helps ensure you can still walk around when you grow old and with a strong back without osteoporosis, eating mostly plants reduces the risks for cancer. I think not going through your life sick and in pain as you grow older will give you joy.

 

[dominatio]

@promiseokon What DO you enjoy? I feel like having a foundation of fitness will help support just about anything you want to do.

And if that doesn’t do it for you, visualize yourself 10-15 years from now. Trust me, at 44, if I were still carrying around the extra 150 pounds I’ve lost since my heaviest, I would be suffering and miserable. You don’t say how old you are but I’m guessing you’re young enough that the extra weight isn’t having an enormous impact on your ability to handle daily living activities (yet).

 

[dawn16]

@promiseokon Ok. I hear you. I went from being 230 lbs and hating exercise to being completely addicted to exercise with a current weight if 145 lbs. Here is how.

First, I was starting from a sedentary lifestyle so I didn't want to push myself too hard to start. I have started in too hard and fast and hated it. So I made a goal. 30 minute walk, 3 days a week. Easy and doable. I paired this with a 1500 net calorie goal, which was a little hard for the first few days but manageable.

The more I walked, the better I felt physically, so I just kept walking more and more until I was going about 1-1.5 hours a day. My diet was going well, so I stepped down to 1500 total calories a day, then eventually 1200.

The physical benefits of walking really made a positive impact on my life. I slept better. I moved better. It wasn't hard or tiresome or dreadful. It started feeling really good, so I slowly added things on. A Zumba class on Sundays. Hikes with the dogs. Longer walks. Eventually, c25k. Then I joined a gym. Added elliptical. More running. Weights. Now I live for the challenge.

The more I did, the easier it got. I reap more reward and joy from exercise than I do food. I can do so much more and my body doesn't feel like a prison anymore.

Tldr: start easy, build up slowly over time. Exercise is hard and shitty at first but gets to be a genuinely enjoyable part of life if you stick with it

 

[sofia]

@promiseokon My gateway exercise was riding a bicycle. I just did it to save money on driving initially and be able to join my friends on fun bike outings and I almost immediately started getting fitter and realizing how good it felt in my body. I stopped getting sick so often, my lower back pain went away, my asthma is less easily triggered.

I tried other things after that. Some that I've ended up loving in the past few years: Longer distance cycling, squash, dance (lyrical, jazz, hip-hop), boxing, hiking, weightlifting, yin yoga, snowshoeing.

And some things I tried didn't stick and I don't like them: HIIT classes, running, pole dancing, tap dance, gymnastics, hot yoga, using cardio equipment at the gym, barre, pilates, trampoline/jumping fitness, zumba, walking/getting thousands and thousands of steps a day.

 

[shirokisaragi]

@promiseokon I think your outlook on life is correct, but as far as eating healthy and getting exercise in, that’s what’s going to enable you to have a fulfilling life. Chasing around your children (if you have or want them), exploring nature, cities, whatever without getting winded. Having a good quality of life as you age healthfully vs facing things like hypertension, high cholesterol, heart disease, knee/hip pain whatever as you age. We all have to be disciplined we have obligations to others and ourselves. We owe it to ourselves and loved one to be the best (healthiest) version of ourselves.

 

[mippop]

@promiseokon I thought I hated cardio. It was the bane of my existence, couldn't pay me to run etc.

You still can't pay me to run but my own impatience with waiting for the bus that takes me the last mile from transit to work means that I have been walking at least 1.2-2.5 miles a day. Up and down hills. I went from suffering those miles to being able to truck up the hills in Atlanta while breathing through my nose. I hadn't gone to salsa in a while and was afraid I was going to be horrifyingly out of shape and I just...wasn't. I wasn't limited by my endurance. Cause my dumb impatient ass walked a few miles a day. I don't know if this is joy persay but the payoff of something so simple it's almost dumb has been fucking awesome.

 

[lm231]

@promiseokon This is a fair question!

I weigh 100 pounds less than you do. If I had to take 100 pounds everywhere with me, I wouldn't want to get up off the couch either. Even 30 pounds more than I am now made me constantly uncomfortable. I had aches and pains. I felt "off." I couldn't really get a running habit going because I was constantly injured. I truly feel fantastic now. I can walk or run as far as I want--my body PROPELS me forward. I live pain free. I am not limited. And I no longer have asthma!

Starting with vigorous exercise is probably not necessary for you. I would do gentle exercise like easy walks and focus on healthy diet to begin. As your weight comes down, you will likely find you have more energy and you can try things and see what you like. You can enjoy life as much or more without the weight. You can still relax and eat good food at a lower weight!