How do I tell a girl in the gym to leave me alone without hurting her feelings?

@jeannie36 Hey man I hear you. The gym is a safe space to just do your thang and gtfo. I personally feel uncomfortable when people approach me in a flirtatious way because it makes me feel objectified, even more so particularly at the gym.

Something though, especially as a woman who may be surrounded by super buff dudes, is that the gym doesn’t always feel like a super safe space. It’s intimating for women at times, especially when you want a spot on a lift. Maybe she is coming up to you because you seem like a safe person?

I would maybe try and view this social interaction more so like that. Not saying you have to be gym buddies and talk throughout an entire session, but it could be important for her to have a safe person to connect with in an intimidating space!
 
@hperry924 Headphones and (forced) resting bitch face.

Haha.

If that doesn't work, it's only a coincidence that I need frequent long, deep drinks of water either from my water bottle or the water fountain. I'll take the potential risk of needing to visit the bathroom more frequently if it means they'll leave me alone.
 
@rtljs26 [sup]^[/sup] this. Gyms can be intimidating to girls. Try telling her you have limited time to work out and would love to help but must finish your routine quickly.
 
@rtljs26 I'm actually going to bet on this.

Being a woman in the weight room as a newbie was horrifying. And I'd yanked my pants up high and gotten there, but I definitely was struggling and felt completely unsure of what to do, how to act, etc. around all these big, buff, grunty dudes. If there was someone who's vibe read as very approachable, I almost definitely would've been like "hey omg help pls," but luckily my "I'm lost" face was sufficient at inviting some assistance.

This situation is probably awk for all involved, so a polite "I really don't mean to be rude, but I'm just not big on socializing at the gym and I am very uncomfortable giving you advice, maybe speak to the staff?" would work wonders.
 
@rtljs26 Yes, this. I’d politely tell her you’re here to just do your thing, not interested in socialising. If I were her I’d prefer the kind honesty.
 
@jeannie36 The next time she comes up to you tell her that the gym is a place you like to be alone and while you have nothing against her you would prefer not to be interrupted so you can focus on your fitness or say that while you are flattered she is interested in talking to you, you aren't interested in socializing while you are in the gym.
 
@jeannie36 Sometimes when I get the vibe that guys are forcing conversation in an attempt to personalize and ask me out, I casually mention my husband and that does the trick and has worked every time; it doesnt hurt their feelings, and it doesnt waste their time. I know in a perfect world you wouldnt have to lie or hurt her feelings, but in this scenario I think this strategy will work out for you if the subtle gestures do not work and you just dont want to hurt her feelings.

"I have to meet my girlfriend (or boyfriend, whatever) after this so I have to run" or, "yeah you know my girlfriend had a lot of success with that form" etc.

I hope you find what works for you :/.

Edit: spacing placement
 
@renierbajala Agree with this.

I think the 'firm shutting down' thing is a bit unnecessary as a first step, but maybe I'm a little bit of a people pleaser. My strategy would be the headphones technique first, casually drop in the SO second, and only after that would I gently inform her that you're not looking to be social and you prefer to be left alone.

Sounds to me like she is interested in picking you up so unless she has zero social cues, the first two methods should work.
 
@renierbajala Definitely this. It's by far the easiest way to let someone down without making it personal or hurting the other person's feelings. And it's pretty much universally understood that casually mentioning a significant other is the polite way of waving a giant "not interested" flag.
 
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