How do I tell a girl in the gym to leave me alone without hurting her feelings?

J

jeannie36

New member
22 Male here, sorry for barging in your sub ladies.

I workout at my university gym and there’s this girl that hits the gym same time as me.

On at least 5 occasions, she approached me and asked me questions about things such as form, a squat spot, and just mundane things like the time (there are 3 separate clocks on the walls).

Thing is, I’m not exactly buff and most dudes in the gym probably know a lot more than I do. So there’s really no reason to ask me.

I assumed she wanted to be friends or even ask me out, thing is, I’m really not interested in either. I dont go to the gym to socialize, I just wanna finish and leave. If she had actually asked me out, I would’ve made it clear that Im not interested.

It has gotten to the point that even if I avoid eye contact, she’ll come up and say hi. She seems like a nice person so I don’t want to outright tell her to leave me alone or act like I dont hear her.

Short of going the gym at a different time, does anyone have any advice?

TLDR: Girl in the gym keeps talking to me, I’d rather not. How do I let her know without hurting her feelings.

edit: Wow, thanks for all the responses! I feel like @garyvasquez gave the best advice. I'm going to try it. I'm aware that I could just be direct with her at any time, the entire point of the question was to let her know subtly somehow. In a way that wouldn't make her feel like she was rejected.
 
@jeannie36 This girl at my uni gym just makes eye contact with me and walks past me frequently. I wish she would just say something because I don’t want to hit on her first. The gym is just a terrible place for us guys to make a move. Or at least my gym is because women complain quite a bit.
 
@jeannie36 Yep, my friends work at the gym and they tell me the same thing. Even though I’m pretty sure she’s already somewhat into me I just don’t want to risk it in a place I train 6 times a week.
 
@jeannie36 Training for the military so I do a upper/lower split twice a week and I’ll have 2 push-up/pull-up/sit-up days as well as cardio throughout the week.

Before that I just did push/pull/legs but doing calisthenics and cardio wasn’t easy to fit in because I was always training.
 
@jeannie36 Yea, 6 days can be a lot but being in college it helps me relieve stress so I find the time for it. Also not sure what I’d do with the free time I have besides wasting it.
 
@jeannie36 International area studies and political science. And yea I definitely go out every week. I just mean like on a daily basis when I finish class and homework I’ll have time to kill which I split between the gym, TV or chilling with people.
 
@jeannie36 It sounds like part of your discomfort is that you don't really know what she wants from you, or why she's trying to talk to you. And it sounds like you might even be ok with minor gym talk if you understood why it was happening, but it's just not a focus of yours. So if it continues, just ask her why she's asking you. That would be direct, too :)
 
@jeannie36 I definitely wear my ear buds and make a startled “huh!?”/confused look combo when I pull it out and essentially give people the impression that they’re bothering me....even if my battery died 20 minutes earlier. I totally get asking a veteran if you’re doing a new movement right (once) but aside from that, I don’t want to talk to anyone at the gym either. Don’t feel bad about it. It’s a gym, not a bar.
 
@jeannie36 Put a small water balloon filled with chocolate milk between your buttcheeks.

Make sure she's around.

When you squat, clench your buttcheeks. The water balloon will break, and look like you shit your pants, with some of the chocolate milk dribbling down your leg.

This should do the trick.
 
@jeannie36 She could be asking you instead of others because she might feel like she isn't being sexualized by you and that's comforting. Women deal with this all the time and im still not good at turning someone down or hurting their feelings and it has led me into some very sticky situations. Approach her how you would like someone to turn you down
 
@jeannie36 Mention that you have a girlfriend. It is a total buzz killer. Do it frequently. What time is it? 1:30 and I have to meet my girlfriend for lunch soon so got to finish up real quick, ttyl. How do you do this squat? My girlfriend uses the trainers here and she really likes them plus I’m no expert. Do you want to grab coffee? Sorry I have plans with my girlfriend.

Honestly. Just hearing it once will probably make her move on. If it doesnt then you can be more direct like what is described in other posts.
 
@jeannie36 Ugh the struggle is real. And you shouldn’t feel forced to talk to anyone you don’t want to. There a million ways to say, “Please stop talking to me” but the most painless way I discovered is “Hey! You know, I’m not trying to be a jerk but I’m kind of rushing today.” Or “I really value my alone time at the gym, I’m kind of in the zone right now.”
 
@jeannie36 I’m assuming she is coming to talk to you because either she has a crush on you or she genuinely wants your advice because you’re the most approachable looking guy (based on your description of not being buff etc)

I don’t have this problem, ever, because I am very unapproachable looking lol. I’m extremely shy and I think I have RBF. No one ever talks to me. I agree with others, use head phones or earbuds. Smile and nod. Give short answers. Look annoyed lol. That’s what I do. 😂😂
 
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