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How do you make exercise not about weight loss?
- Thread starter uticus
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- female fitness
@zbnigniew The main thing it affects is the motivation/length of my workout. Most times, I’ll get about halfway through my workout and get the feeling of “I don’t wanna do this anymore.” With medication, or on days where my mental health is just a little more positive than others, it’s very doable for me to tell that feeling that now is not the time, and I’m gonna keep going. Other days, I’ve found it’s better to give myself permission to say “I don’t want to do this, so I’m gonna go ahead and be done”even if it’s 15-20 minutes into my workout. I’d rather get little bits and keep it enjoyable than force myself to get a “complete” workout.
@zbnigniew Also counting. Counting and maintaining form is freaking hard and I was so relieved when I found out other people feel the same way.
@uticus I'm working out so I don't feel intimidated by men. I want to walk into a room and know that I can kick the arse of at least 50% of the men there. I love seeing the weight I am pushing go up and whilst I am not adverse to a lower number on the scales go down, it's never been priority no. 1 for me. I just want to be functionally fit, strong, and fast.
warden_of_the_storm
New member
@uticus Weight loss and weight management are a big reason why I exercise, but here are some of the other reasons I do it, which eventually made me see exercise as everyday maintenance instead if “just” intervention:
- I have known way too many people who can’t get through a Disney trip, or a concert, a festival, or exploring a new city, because they don’t walk - and I'm not talking about people with disabilities or limitations. I am talking about physically capable people, of all ages, who don't walk more than 2000 steps a day, purely by choice. I have seen too many young colleagues (20’s and 30’s) who would make a huge fuss about having to walk up a flight of stairs, or down a few hallways, to go to a meeting or a conference. I hate to sound like a jerk, but these people annoy the absolute shit out of me and I refuse to be one of them, and that's why I run or walk every day (or nearly every day).
- On that note, I do have a disability that sometimes affects my ability to walk. This is why I do my best to take advantage of my "good" days - because the more often I do, the less frequently I have "bad" days. Again, at the risk of sounding like a jerk, this may be part of why I am bothered by people who choose not to walk.
- I have been heavier, and I don't like it. It's especially unpleasant to be overweight when living in the hot, humid environment that I am in.
- being stronger means that I am less likely to get injured - and if I do become injured, it won’t take as long for me to recover. I recently hurt my back, and it took me a week to recover. My sister hurt her back and she had to be taken to the hospital, put through a cat scan, given painkillers, put through PT, and have all kinds of evaluations done only to be told that there’s nothing wrong with her back and she needs to exercise more. I love my sister to death, but she would not be in this position if she took better care of herself
- I am in the final stages of ruling out having cancer. One thing I’ve learned during this process is that if god forbid you ever need chemo, your outcome is better if you have more muscle mass. To me, that’s reason enough to work out, even if you’re not trying to get “ripped” - because once you’re in that situation, you can’t just go to the muscle store and get all the muscle to feed the chemo. You have to build it over time and you have to maintain it
- I just feel like I am my best self when I am active and doing hard things. This applies to physical activity such as strength training, and it applies to things in my personal life - if I am not doing the hard shit, I don't feel like I am accomplishing anything and I don't like the way I am when complacency is kicking in.
- heart problems run in my family. Obesity has plagued a lot of my relatives and things like high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes is relatively common among many of my relatives. I want to avoid those things if I can.
lethiminyourheart
New member
@warden_of_the_storm This is helpful for me to read and I think it helps articulate why it bothers me when I see exercise framed as basically something to do when you get out of shape (or to ward off your poor fitness getting too bad, but only very occasionally). "You can't just go to the muscle store."
@uticus For me, it's three things:
- I like being strong for "everyday" events. Carrying heavy boxes/instruments/etc for whatever reason? I can do it. A hike or race for fun? Let's go.
- The gym I go to is a very social place, so I love catching up with everyone while we're there. There's regular activities as well, connected to the different types of group classes, e.g. a mock powerlifting meet or "play day" or a kettle bell competition. I also like the programming and seeing the numbers go up/skills being acquired for both myself and others.
- Whenever I don't exercise enough, I get really grumpy really fast, to the point that my husband strongly suggests I go out for a walk.
@rychusoo
Same. When I used to manage a team, I heard that they always warned new hires to make sure my bike helmet was on my desk if they were asking for a big favor because on days I had to drive, I was markedly grumpier.
Whenever I don't exercise enough, I get really grumpy really fast, to the point that my husband strongly suggests I go out for a walk.
Same. When I used to manage a team, I heard that they always warned new hires to make sure my bike helmet was on my desk if they were asking for a big favor because on days I had to drive, I was markedly grumpier.
@uticus I enjoy how exercise makes me feel. I enjoy how outdoor exercise lets me be more in touch with seasonality and with the places I am doing things, whether it’s a morning walk to get a coffee, or cycling in the hills, or a swim at the beach.
Sometimes it’s about targeting events; a 5k, a weightlifting comp, a bike fondo, a long distance hike, whatever.
Sometimes it’s social—the Saturday morning park hiit class, the group hike, the gym where everyone has a nod or a hello once you become a regular.
Functionality is important too. A strong core, pain free back, knees that can handle anything, and the flexibility, mobility, balance to get off the floor are all things that become more and more valuable as you get older.
Sometimes it’s about targeting events; a 5k, a weightlifting comp, a bike fondo, a long distance hike, whatever.
Sometimes it’s social—the Saturday morning park hiit class, the group hike, the gym where everyone has a nod or a hello once you become a regular.
Functionality is important too. A strong core, pain free back, knees that can handle anything, and the flexibility, mobility, balance to get off the floor are all things that become more and more valuable as you get older.
laperladelsur
New member
@uticus For me it’s about feeling strong: I make silly goals like I want to be able to squat my mom (weight in lbs), deadlift my husband, bench both of my dogs together, etc. I’m also ttc and hoping that being strong now will help me recovery faster if I do end up pregnant.
Mental health: I sleep better and am less anxious. I stand taller, am actually wearing shorts and crop tops. I’m not slim at all but I feel more confident in myself to do so.
And it’s ME TIME. I don’t have to worry about someone else’s needs or what they want to do. I can listen to podcasts or audiobooks uninterrupted. If I’m on cardio machine, I’ll watch a show that only I like. I rarely have time for more than an 30-60 minutes of tv at night which is usually spent watching a show everyone agrees to watch together.
Mental health: I sleep better and am less anxious. I stand taller, am actually wearing shorts and crop tops. I’m not slim at all but I feel more confident in myself to do so.
And it’s ME TIME. I don’t have to worry about someone else’s needs or what they want to do. I can listen to podcasts or audiobooks uninterrupted. If I’m on cardio machine, I’ll watch a show that only I like. I rarely have time for more than an 30-60 minutes of tv at night which is usually spent watching a show everyone agrees to watch together.
@laperladelsur LOL my husband and I have a running joke about me getting strong enough to deadlift him! It’s a very unserious goal - my serious one is that I don’t want my bones to dissolve by the time I’m 70 - but the silly goals also have a little edge to them too, you know? Like, I am *not* too old to be a badass!
@uticus I do a variety of different exercises, all for various reasons
- I do weightlifting because I want to be stronger. I want to be able to carry my groceries easily. I want to be able to hip thrust my partners weight and send him a dumb thirst trap of it.
- I really want to be able to do a handstand, so I’m working on increasing my upper body and core strength.
- when I pole dance, I want to be able to learn new tricks easily. So I need to increase my strength, mobility and flexibility. That gives me a different goal to work towards.
- I got into running out of absolute spite, and now I do it for the endorphins and the adrenaline I get during a race. Competition keeps me going.
- I walk to work and take a lunchtime walk so that I get some fresh air and take 30 minutes away from my computer
komalsinghaws
New member
@uticus Learn to have fun with it! I like thinking of exercise (and generally goals in life) as a videogame, where I set myself goals and “level up”.
I use different apps to track my progress. Apple watch has been a game changer in this regard.
Also I give myself rewards that have to do with the “thing” I am wanting to learn to like. For example: If I play x amount of hours of the sport I like, I will buy new gear for that sport( I play tennis, so I could say: I will buy a new cute outfit or cool shoes/racket etc). Or with nutrition: If I cook x amount of healthy meals I will buy a cool new kitchen appliance that makes cooking easier (air-fryer, nutribullet etc). Or at my gym, which has some old and new equipment, I will say: only if I I manage to squat x kg on the ugly rack I will allow myself to use the fancy new rack etc.
I learned that from Andrew Huberman: doing this “intrinsic rewarding” will trick your brain to enjoying that “thing” more, because the “thing” is the reward. Videogames also work like this: you want to beat a certain enemy because you want the reward, which is usually gear that will help you beat the next enemy. Automatically, once you have the new gear (or cute gym outfit, or new air-fryer) you will want to use it for its intended purpose, like a new toy.
You could implement the same logic with pilates and walking: “if I walk a total of x miles, I will get new shoes/try a new walking route, get a fitness tracking watch”. “If I manage to do x position in pilates/ do x amount of pilates hours I will get those cute leggings I’ve been eying”.
Make sure to track your progress in an app that creates fun colorful graphs.
Before you know it you will fall in love with the process and forget about your weight.
Finally, think of working out because you love your body, not because you dislike it. You love your body, that is why you care for it, as you would care for your house or personal hygiene . You don’t clean or decorate your house because you hate it and want to change it. You do it because you love it and want it to be cozy and reflect your personality. You don’t shower or shave or do your hair because you hate your body, but because its a relaxing process that makes you feel clean, self loved, confident.
I use different apps to track my progress. Apple watch has been a game changer in this regard.
Also I give myself rewards that have to do with the “thing” I am wanting to learn to like. For example: If I play x amount of hours of the sport I like, I will buy new gear for that sport( I play tennis, so I could say: I will buy a new cute outfit or cool shoes/racket etc). Or with nutrition: If I cook x amount of healthy meals I will buy a cool new kitchen appliance that makes cooking easier (air-fryer, nutribullet etc). Or at my gym, which has some old and new equipment, I will say: only if I I manage to squat x kg on the ugly rack I will allow myself to use the fancy new rack etc.
I learned that from Andrew Huberman: doing this “intrinsic rewarding” will trick your brain to enjoying that “thing” more, because the “thing” is the reward. Videogames also work like this: you want to beat a certain enemy because you want the reward, which is usually gear that will help you beat the next enemy. Automatically, once you have the new gear (or cute gym outfit, or new air-fryer) you will want to use it for its intended purpose, like a new toy.
You could implement the same logic with pilates and walking: “if I walk a total of x miles, I will get new shoes/try a new walking route, get a fitness tracking watch”. “If I manage to do x position in pilates/ do x amount of pilates hours I will get those cute leggings I’ve been eying”.
Make sure to track your progress in an app that creates fun colorful graphs.
Before you know it you will fall in love with the process and forget about your weight.
Finally, think of working out because you love your body, not because you dislike it. You love your body, that is why you care for it, as you would care for your house or personal hygiene . You don’t clean or decorate your house because you hate it and want to change it. You do it because you love it and want it to be cozy and reflect your personality. You don’t shower or shave or do your hair because you hate your body, but because its a relaxing process that makes you feel clean, self loved, confident.
@uticus I LOVE THIS QUESTION.
I used to workout only to lose weight. Within the past year I have mostly gotten away from that. A few things have helped:
1. No progress pics or weighing myself. I will take a pic of myself when I am happy about how I look— which a year ago would’ve been never but allowing myself to love working out has allowed me to love what I’m capable of and therefor my body. My body is strong bc I love being strong and that makes me happy even when my body image is bad.
2. Only do what works for you. If that’s walking 1 mile or 10 do it! If that’s Pilates or weight lifting, whatever. If it isn’t fun then keep experimenting! Find movement that is a good part of your day. Exercise is NOT a punishment. It’s a celebration and a joy. (I still go on the hard days now but I spent a while allowing myself as many rest days as I wanted. Now when I make myself go when I was feeling like skipping I’m happy at the end and not drained).
3. Make fitness goals that are not about looks. Right now I’m working towards my first pull up, last year this time I was working on being able to knock out 15 pushups, and somewhere in there I also worked on a handstand (which I never accomplished but I had a lot of fun with for a while). Maybe it’s the splits or running in XX time or walking XX distance. Just give yourself a goal that’s solely for you to have fun with.
4. Wear what you love. I know buying 17 gym sets isn’t realistic for most people but if shorts is comfy but they make you self conscious… WEAR THEM. The first few times it’s hard but then being comfy becomes the goal and it’s so freeing.
You are doing it, girl! Keep showing up for YOU. You are so worth the time and effort you can give yourself.
I used to workout only to lose weight. Within the past year I have mostly gotten away from that. A few things have helped:
1. No progress pics or weighing myself. I will take a pic of myself when I am happy about how I look— which a year ago would’ve been never but allowing myself to love working out has allowed me to love what I’m capable of and therefor my body. My body is strong bc I love being strong and that makes me happy even when my body image is bad.
2. Only do what works for you. If that’s walking 1 mile or 10 do it! If that’s Pilates or weight lifting, whatever. If it isn’t fun then keep experimenting! Find movement that is a good part of your day. Exercise is NOT a punishment. It’s a celebration and a joy. (I still go on the hard days now but I spent a while allowing myself as many rest days as I wanted. Now when I make myself go when I was feeling like skipping I’m happy at the end and not drained).
3. Make fitness goals that are not about looks. Right now I’m working towards my first pull up, last year this time I was working on being able to knock out 15 pushups, and somewhere in there I also worked on a handstand (which I never accomplished but I had a lot of fun with for a while). Maybe it’s the splits or running in XX time or walking XX distance. Just give yourself a goal that’s solely for you to have fun with.
4. Wear what you love. I know buying 17 gym sets isn’t realistic for most people but if shorts is comfy but they make you self conscious… WEAR THEM. The first few times it’s hard but then being comfy becomes the goal and it’s so freeing.
You are doing it, girl! Keep showing up for YOU. You are so worth the time and effort you can give yourself.
@nlynch This is a great response! I’ve been struggling with this lately and finding things I enjoy doing has been a game changer, and seems like such a “duh, idiot” thing for me, lol. But I love the “exercise is not a punishment, it’s a celebration and a joy” comment. I’ve been trying to reframe that for myself over the last couple years and it’s slow going. A lot of undoing baaad habits (and lines of thinking!) from my youth.
immanuelmark
New member
richardsonne
New member
@richardsonne Me too. Running is SUCH a joy when you’re well-fueled. I stopped caring about my weight and just made my goal to run more and more. Ironically, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been now.
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