how do you manage stress in ways that aren’t exercise??

[cathyrvanderpool]

@porcelainrose I’m here to also gently encourage some therapy, and do consider EMDR for healing from your traumas.

In the meantime, I’m not your therapist, but I am A therapist, and one of the things I’ve been talking about A LOT lately is making time for acts of self love and self care.

It sounds like your career and extended family have taken priority for you (it’s ok, it happens), and you’ve let your self care except for fitness fall off the back end. I want to encourage you to find a way to consciously practice an act of self love each day - something you do JUST for you, because you like it, and because it reminds you that you’re here for yourself just as much as you show up for your job and family every day. As an example, my act of self love has been my skincare routine. Only takes me a few minutes each day, and it’s how I remind myself that I’m worth showing up for, too.

You could also try a Grounding practice - this is similar to mindfulness and meditation, but adds in a physical component. I like to use a sensory grounding technique that helps gently pull your thoughts and emotions back to the present by engaging all 5 senses. You find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste (switch up the order to whatever suits your situation best), and use your body and physical environment to bring your thoughts and emotions back to the here-and-now. This can help if you find yourself feeling like you’re on autopilot a lot.

Hope this helps

 

[mimi94]

@cathyrvanderpool I second all of these things. EMDR worked wonders for my CPTSD. I'm actually in a second round of it now. This along with grounding techniques and exercise have been a game changer for processing emotions.

 

[porcelainrose]

@cathyrvanderpool thank you so much. i had no idea how badly i was needing permission to take care of myself, and this comment meant/means so much. my parents/most of my family are extreme stress/workaholics who never prioritize rest or even praise as it makes you “weak.” not a lot of hugging, laughing, or simple pleasures in my house growing up, so it’s been a struggle to integrate any of that as an adult, too. i have always struggled with feeling the need to “earn” rest or pleasure of any kind, so this was very calming and reassuring to read. thank you so much again

 

[tagliatellimonster]

@porcelainrose One of the first things that really struck me in your original post is that you say you have a demanding job and a demanding extended family but really, you may have a boundary problem. You are in charge of your time and no one else can make demands of you unless you give them permission. Now of course, that might actually mean switching jobs or scaling back in some way at work, but really, you are going to hit a wall. Your family isn’t allowed to barge in on your life or make demands of your time or your energy either without your permission. These would be great things to explore in therapy as well.

 

[porcelainrose]

@tagliatellimonster you’re so right, and always funny how the things about ourselves we want to deal with least are the ones doing the most damage. i know deep down i have a HUGE issue with people pleasing, it’s just such a heavy, complex psychological thing to work through so i’m really dragging my feet. it affects everything. if i’m honest with myself, a lot of why i still work out so often is that it’s one of the only times i feel completely in control of how/why i spend my time. the trick will just be to learn to feel in control in all aspects of my time. it’ll take some time, but it’s possible! thanks for your reply ))

 

[chanticleera]

@porcelainrose SECOND this - sounds like therapy might be a really awesome act of self care, for you.

 

[chrisola]

@porcelainrose One more for emdr! It was a total life changer for me! Have been going since March and it has helped me in so so many ways! It’s so definitely worth investing in your happiness!!

 

[parentingpod]

@porcelainrose Meditation. It feels odd and uncomfortable at first, but learning how to sit and just "be" for 5-30 minutes has really helped my stress levels. When I first started, I could barely do 30 seconds before my brain would start wandering. Now my regular practice is 10 minutes every day and it really helps me.

 

[matthewwri]

@porcelainrose Mediation is a bit “active” you could say but it’s not really exercise since you’re sitting down on a mat, maybe moving side to side but mostly relaxing and trying to find calm and peace. This works well for me so perhaps you could try it?

 

[porcelainrose]

@matthewwri totally—almost every comment here suggests meditation, so i’m adding it to the top of my list for new things to try. the thought of stilling my body sounds like absolute torture, haha, which is probably precisely why i need to try it thanks so much

 

[jamie0921]

@porcelainrose You might look into walking or moving meditation

 

[njohn63]

@porcelainrose meditation and mindfulness is absolutely worth it. I did an 8 week course prescribed and funded through my doctor, that is taught by a team of actual doctors (cardiologists). The benefits of it are actually observable in a clinical setting. If you can find some really good literature about it do so. It's not so much about stilling your body as it is about learning how to sit with discomfort and uncomfortable feelings without needing to "fix" them through another coping mechanism.

This is the society it's run through, they have a few online resources you can access: BCALM

 

[lukejacquedouglas]

@porcelainrose I recommend the free app Insight Timer for meditation!

 

[blessed4dayz]

@porcelainrose I get this bad sometimes as well and have to take a few days to a week off from fitness. When was the last time you had a deload?

My non-fitness stress relievers are binge-watching shows, reading books, or taking the extra time to prepare foods for better nutrition.

If I absolutely feel like I HAVE to move, I'll listen to an audiobook while I go outside for a walk.

I understand the struggle! I feel like I always have to do something and feel like I'm wasting my time if I'm not.

 

[porcelainrose]

@blessed4dayz i’m totally the same—even before i got into “fitness” i was never someone who could sit on the couch all day, and even very quickly felt/feel so stir-crazy during snow days or rain storms, haha!

I probably haven’t taken an honest to god break from my routine in close to two years at this point (aside from my once or twice weekly “rest” days in which i still often manage to hike, bike, or otherwise work up a small sweat). even on holidays or vacations i make time to work out, which i know is such a telltale sign that i’m overdoing it both physically and mentally

I have a very long list of books i’ve been meaning to read but never “have” (aka MAKE) time. I love that idea, along with maybe just a slow stroll around the block if i get too stir crazy in here. thanks so much for your reply

 

[fruitsensation]

@porcelainrose Seconding these stress relievers! I also find baking bread to be calming - the act of kneading the bread gets out some of the need to use my body but in a smaller dose can be great.