Internalized misogyny and sports?

@melodyonpoint This is not completely true, anthropologists are figuring out that it was common for groups of women to hunt as well, and they carried their own weapons that were made specifically for them.
 
@moderncrusader As an archaeologist, I will also say that mixed groups went out, maybe as many as 50 strong. We're finding many more remains of women hunting than was thought by men in the 1950s when they published the old research.
 
@lorial Honestly - not at all. Where I work out we have a huge range of people; young / old / middle aged (hi); male / female / non binary, very athletic/ beginners, slim / big etc.

I know I won't be the best at everything, and comparing myself to a 6'3 guy who can push press my deadlift? Pointless. But I can push press the deadlift of others there (including some of the men)... Doesn't really mean anything to me- I just want to improve my own performance. I enjoy working on my own skills and see it as investment into me from a wellbeing perspective. I also really enjoy seeing others progress and celebrate their success.
 
@lorial I can definitely relate, esp as a petite 5'2" woman. however at my hiit bootcamps overtime I noticed I sometimes can outpace the men when they make us race each other in things like suicide sprints, frog jumps, bear crawls and other things like that. helped me appreciate that while my lack of testosterone might keep me from outperforming them in strength, there are advantages to being the smaller sex. speed and agility are just as much of a virtue in fitness
 
@lorial I've only been exposed to misogynistic men at the gym ie they look at me (5'3, lean) so they assume I can't hold pads for them, spar with them or even lift heavy weights so when it's time to partner up, they literally ignore me when I ask if they want to be partners....then I see them struggling with lighter weights or holding shitty ass pads lol. that always makes me giggle because I never know why one would assume such things.
 
@lorial Yep sometimes is it rough. I work out a lot more than my husband. He is stronger and a faster runner than I am anyway. That said, it's pretty awesome to have such an athletic husband.

Ever notice how men are always exercising by themselves? Go to classes and it's almost always women. Women generally run together too. Heck we do a lot of things together. Men are usually by themselves unless it is work or watching a game and drinking. I kinda feel for them. Many are missing out on doing the fun stuff with other people. Always focus on the good. You get to choose your focus.
 
@lorial I can relate. I was just thinking about this yesterday. I am in a strength training class for runners at a CrossFit gym. Some of the men came in so uncoordinated on ladder drills, so inflexible, and with shockingly weak cores. I work hard every damn day and was dusting them on this. I honestly wondered how the could run and function. One of them has serious obvious compression fractures in his spine, but we put weight on the barbells, and they lifted and pressed away. It felt so unfair. I mostly work out in female dominant /only environments for the last several years and I am so much happier for it.
 
@lorial I don’t relate to this in the gym because 1/ I don’t pay attention to what men are doing really anywhere unless they’re in my personal space or related to me and 2/ when I do and I’m at the gym, it’s usually because I’ve noticed how many of them are doing vanity lifts without the full ROM and are about to hurt themselves. I do notice more gendered stereotypes at work though, there’s really no way for a woman to win in the corporate world.
 
@lorial >"men will always be able to physically dominate me so what's the point of exercise, I'm doomed to always fail next to them"

and some men can will always physically dominate other men. fitness/strength/speed is something you do for yourself and to improve your own QoL. don't get physically dominated by a fast walk, several sets of stairs, heavy shopping. life has lots of fairly trivial interactions that are made much easier by a level of physical accomplishment that is greater than your baseline. so focus on where you came from, not where others are.
 
@lorial I kinda feel like thinking about body limitations takes all the joy out of my life. I really hate being a woman, every aspect of it. And yea, at the gym I sometimes think the same. If there was a button to press to become a guy I wouldn't hesitate. It's weird for me how people can't relate here, but I'm glad for y'all.
 
@jessyr Maybe talk to a therapist about gender. I had the same thoughts, but I'm nonbinary and have been on low dose T for over a year. Got top surgery. Not FTM, but a happy androgynous middle. Maybe take some time to reflect and consider. It's not for everyone but it may be for you.
 
@helenafive I'm queer actually and I have genderqueer friends, so I can sympathize to the difficulty of figuring out "do I just not want to be a woman or do I not want to be a woman under patriarchy". Idk if it helps to hear my perspective but the whole reason I was surprised by my thoughts surrounding sports is because I like being a cis woman even if I strongly dislike some traditional gender roles. I find it really amazing that I have the capability of holding life within me. When and if I can't do that, I still physically love my body itself (especially during sex, whether solo or with a lover) and I really adore sisterhood with other women. I would say my only things i really dislike are period pain and the fear I can be impregnated against my will by a stronger man. I'm working through how much of that is "natural" and how much of that is internalized misogny/patriarchy.
 
@lorial So much this. I'm queer too but I like being a woman, just not one under patriarchy. I want to dress the way I want, wear sports bras all the time, and cut my hair, but also wear makeup because it's fun. Let me be me. But period pain sucks, that can go.
 
@jessyr I’m not sure where you live or what you’ve gone through that has shaped this feeling you have. Some women do truly feel empowered by being a woman and enjoy femininity. It’s all about perspective & experience
 
@lorial Tbh, no. I’ve always felt and experienced lots of praise for being a woman and strong, and the messaging I internalised has definitely been more progressive than your experience; perhaps I live in an area where the environmental factors allow that to be so - strong women are considered badass in my communities. And men have usually - anecdotally - been the ones to hype me up even more.

The only people (men and women and everything in between) who have been a bit ‘off’ about my performance have been those who have been insecure in some way about themselves and their own ideas about how the world should be. Luckily I am in no way bound to their ideals but to mine!
 
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