@dawn16 Thanks for the comment! It’s definitely food for thought. I gotta admit exercise helps with my anxiety, so maybe I seem more relaxed on days after working out, but I’d say it’s part of the usual high we all get when endorphins kick in. Aside from that I don’t think it affects my mood to the point where it interferes with my interactions with people.
When I do nothing I do feel more anxious like I said, but that’s like my default state (at least it’s how I used to be 24/7 when I was sedentary, now it’s more controlled) and exercise kinda brings those levels down. I know it’s something I should work in therapy but it’s not something I can afford right now sadly. Meditation is also helping though which is nice!
@kmar123 As you grow into and through your 20's, sometimes you outgrow your previous friend set. This is not a judgment (so outgrow might have been a poor word choice) but a choice. You are not spending the free time you have drinking, watching videos, or just hanging out. They are. Like a crab bucket, they want you in it with them. Some days that might sound real good to you, but not most days anymore. Growing pains I guess but positive in the end. You do you and enjoy making your own choices in life.
@kmar123 That's a fine schedule if it fits in well with the rest of your life--if the workouts are a reasonable length, you're eating enough, you're recovering well, you're not letting fitness concerns take over your life in an unhealthy way, etc.
The fact that your roommates are concerned about you makes me wonder whether there's something else going on. Maybe their concern is valid or maybe it's not.
For example, somebody in this situation might have anxiety about social situations and go to the gym as an excuse to avoid them. Or maybe their friends are feeling unnecessarily threatened that they spend more time with their new gym friends than their old circle of friends. Either of those could be worth addressing, but neither is really a gym addiction or a fitness problem, you know?
@kmar123 To reassure you, this doesn’t sound disordered at all. If you felt guilty about skipping the gym and taking rest, I’d be concerned. But for me, I love exercising it helps all my happy chemicals in my brain especially as someone who deals with depression, anxiety and ADHD. Maybe your roommates mean well and I’m going to assume the best from them and just casually mention that for you the gym is a place where you can move your body happily and a place for you to relieve stress. Good luck.
@kmar123 Your work out sounds pretty well balanced, I used to have a similar routine that included a strength training class and spin every week at my gym and I would never change my schedule for other plans. It would annoy my friends that didn't workout when they wanted to make plans on my class days, but I just was firm with my response. And hitting the gym on a Friday night is the best! There are less people and you have more space to yourself!
@growingmountain Totally!! People call me crazy bc I love going to the gym on the weekends. But it’s always relatively empty, and today for example, there were only like 5 other people and all women, which was awesome. I also love going when it’s not packed bc of Covid and stuff, feels way safer.
@kmar123 You're fine. Keep doing what you're doing. You mentioned they were half joking but if it really does bother them then I'd say your roommate may need to evaluate themselves. Keeping yourself healthy shouldn't bother anyone.
@kmar123 Eh, my family says the same about me and I’m nowhere near as fit as some people on here. I literally do a YouTube video, run, or do a WOD in the garage (I don’t even have that much equipment; couple of dumbbells, jump rope, a bench). I feel like people who don’t normally workout don’t understand that it just becomes a part of your routine as time goes on.. not necessarily an “addiction”.
@kmar123 I’d just tell them “I like staying fit and active because it’s good for my mental health.” It’s the truth. If they are telling you it’s unhealthy, chances are they just feel shit about their own activity levels and feel intimidated by the effort you put in. None of their business either way
How do you deal with this? Working out honestly makes me so happy and I find it ridiculous that I now have to hide my routine / avoid talking about it so as not to be called a gym freak.
It seems like your household has a passive-aggressive communication/conflict style. So start changing that culture by communicating directly. Name the behavior you want to stop. Explain how that behavior has negatively impacted you. Tell them what you need and expect from them from now on. For instance:
"I love going to the gym. When you tease me about doing something I really like to do by calling me a "gym freak," it hurts my feelings and makes me self-conscious, so I am asking you to stop. If you are making jokes because you are worried about how much I exercise, I really appreciate that you care about me, so I want to reassure you that my relationship with exercise is healthy and positive. My gym routine wouldn't make everyone happy, but it brings me a lot of joy. Going forward, I'm asking everyone to please be respectful by no longer making critical comments about the time I spend on my hobby."
You don't have to engage with every piece of unsolicited advice or criticism that comes your way. It is OK to set boundaries on that stuff. If "friendly" teasing isn't feeling so friendly, then you have a right to tell people to quit it. You don't have to justify yourself extensively to anyone.
@kmar123 This sounds very similar to my schedule. Do your friends go to the gym at all? If they don’t, it could just be them being jealous and trying to bring you down. Perhaps ask them how long they spend on social media every day or watching netflix etc. Let’s see who has an “addiction” now.
@kmar123 I’ve lived with a lot of roommates and they range greatly in fitness levels. To some, I seemed crazy obsessed to the point that they accused me of having an eating disorder, and to others I was the lazy one despite exercising every day (they were marathon runners). I noticed the east coast girls exercised much less than me and tended to do more indoor classes as their sole form of exercise, and the west coast girls were more active in their daily life and outdoorsy. Just an observation from my experience but I’m curious if others agree! I lived with one girl I thought was super obsessed (she did 2x a day hardcore sweat sessions and ate nothing but salad) but I never commented on it because her health seemed fine and it’s none of my business.
@kmar123 That sounds like a very normal amount of exercise so unless they’re noticing other unhealthy behaviors or you’re talking about it non stop, just ignore them.
@dustinx I do think I talk about it a lot tbh (or at least more than before, I was sedentary a year ago so it wasn’t a topic of interest for me, now it’s the opposite) so I might try to tone it down!
@kmar123 I was going to ask about this - I have a friend who is super into fitness and strength training. I truly believe she exercises and tracks her food in a very healthy and productive way for her own health and mental wellbeing. I support her efforts 100% and I love being able to talk about fitness with her.
She believes women should endeavour to being strong and stop losing weight in order to fit the patriarchal idea of "taking up less room in the world". I actually kind of agree, but I feel like it's flipped too far where it's like a different body image standard that she's accidentally placing on other women. And when it comes up a lot (it can kind of take over the conversation in our group of friends), it inadvertently reminds everyone in the group about their own body image/fitness/health regardless of the setting you're in. This can bother me, even as someone who is pretty fit and who has a pretty good self image. I have some friends who have very complicated relationships with their bodies so I can imagine being constantly reminded by their fit friend can be hard.
I want to support my friend, and I like talking fitness, but it's the time and place ya know? I don't think you should have to tip toe around your roommates but maybe just be aware of how (and how often) you talk about how you look/others look around them.
@jasminka Ohh I definitely don’t mention anything appearance wise, that’s a huge no no for me - I’ve always tried to actively avoid mentioning anything about other people’s bodies that could be triggering or make someone uncomfortable.
I meant it more in the sense of like, mentioning what my workout looked like that day or what I’m doing later that day (if I haven’t gone to the gym yet) during our daily chats in the kitchen when we start talking about our day. Sometimes I’m giddy if I progressed well on a certain day so I’ll start talking about it before I can stop myself. so yeah, when I say I talk about it too much it’s usually stuff about my routine, my progress, or just random gym anecdotes. But it’s still something that could be too uninteresting for someone that is not as excited about it as I am, so I still want to be more mindful of it.
@kmar123 You sound very considerate and that this is probably a problem on their end then. I saw your comment about not drinking as much to avoid hangovers and now being left out of parties - maybe it's just that your lifestyles aren't matching up as much and they resent that. Pretty uncool of them to be shitty about it and you taking care of your health.
