Progress Pics (5'6, 103lb => 128lb)

jayden_jay

New member
Before

Today

Thought you ladies would like these progress pics of gaining weight rather than losing!

Six years ago my mind was getting the better of me. My OCD manifests itself in a very odd way, and if untreated, makes me overly conscious of my swallowing, to the point where every bite of food and sip of water is difficult for me. Difficult to the point where I could barely get 800 calories/day, if that, and much of it coming from "nutritional drinks" (think Ensure, Boost). After many years of trial and error meds, CBT, various relaxation methods, etc., I finally found a very competent doctor who recognized my symptoms as OCD and put me on the proper medication. I can now function almost normally and it has changed my life. Once I was finally stable and at weight that could sustain exercise, I hit the gym. A year later, I hit the barbells, in large part thanks to this subreddit. 8 months in, and I have never felt better.

For anyone curious, I started by following SL5x5, then switched to a PPLPPL split, and most recently have changed it up to PHUL. I love every moment that I step into the gym because I finally CAN. At my lowest of lows, I thought I was going to end up with a feeding tube, and now I can lift more than I weigh. Also a shout-out to modern medicine because it is amazing.
 
@jayden_jay I'm so happy to see this. I also struggle with losing weight too easily and this is the first place I've ever found that has a weight-positive attitude!

Sadly, you don't look "too thin" to me at all, despite being 5in taller than me and at the same current weight as I am, and I was just told I'm 3-4lbs under the lowest safe weight for my height. I think I'm too used to see a too thin version of myself. You look FANTASTIC in your after pics, and I'm excited to think I could get there too!
 
@jayden_jay The before photos looked regular skinny to me so I checked what your past bmi was and it was way underweight. I couldn't even tell, I think I have a distorted view of what a body should look like. I'm too used to the lithe teenager look.
Thanks for helping me realize that.

Your today photos exude a relaxed confidence and strength. You look like a powerful, capable adult. Your delts are fantastic.
 
@jodiemurray Thanks! I was definitely very underweight in the before pics. I had no energy to get up a flight of stairs, and it was a struggle to get through each work day. You could see my spine, and my collar bone poked out. It made me sick to my stomach to look in the mirror each night because of how thin I was. As reference, before I started weightlifting, I naturally sit at about 120-22lb when eating normally, so I've gained ~7lbs of mostly muscle since a year ago :) The same clothes fit and I don't have any added fat, just leaned out with muscles. Feels great. Lithe teenager is no fun!
 
@jayden_jay Wow you look amazing! I have OCD as well, and I also get difficulty to swallow sometimes when my anxiety level is very high. I thought I was the only one! It never got to the extent where I couldn't eat though. Huge props to you for getting it under control and making such amazing progress! :)
 
@zaidabobaida oh wow haha maybe it is more "common" than we thought ;-) Yeah, I think mine manifests this way in particular also because I grew up with like a choking phobia due to a couple incidents I witnessed early on...that's my theory at least. Very debilitating, but thankfully under control now. Good luck to you!
 
@jayden_jay You look AMAZING! As someone who's recovered from disordered eating and is just starting to get used to the idea of exercising to gain instead of lose, your pics and story help so much [sup]_^[/sup]
 
@jayden_jay Congratulations! I love that your weight is not the whole story, as most of popular media makes it out to be. And that it's OK to care about how you look, including looking strong, and put some effort into it! Somehow I got the message that putting any effort into my appearance was somehow "cheating" or "vanity" or something. I never weigh myself and when I do, it's meaningless and disappointing because the change in my weight never seems to bear any relation to the change in my look and how I feel about myself. I'm so glad you're healthier and happier now!
 
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