How do you make exercise not about weight loss?

@uticus I love seeing what I can lift and tracking my progress on how heavy I can lift. Seeing those numbers go up is so nice. I also want to be strong so I can have a good quality of life for as long as possible—I want to be able to go on hikes, garden, play with my kids, etc and not have to worry about hurting myself.
 
@uticus Hmmm well I did start with the goal of weight loss, but by chance/good timing I started to find new things to do at the gym that have become interesting and exciting to me. I guess the first step in that was feeling the exercise high of endorphins while I listened to good music and realised I was enjoying the process rather than the result.

Realising that moving my body could be really enjoyable as a pastime was a game changer and kind of removed weight loss from the equation. Just as you’ve described your past experience — my body happens to continue to change but it isn’t what’s driving me. I get excited talking and thinking about fitness-related goals (right now: eventually being able to do an unassisted chin up; getting strong enough to bench my own body weight). There’s no major expiration date for either so I’m having fun and working hard to get there.

So I guess tl;dr — finding an activity you enjoy so that it’s fun and having a couple of non-weight goals to work towards.
 
@uticus I actually started out where fitness was only about getting strong. I was inspired by Korra from The Legend of Korra lol, girlie was buff as hell and that was all my brain needed to be like "Hey, nothing is stopping me from being strong as hell, too!" It was the lightbulb that I needed. I won't pretend that I don't stress about my weight from time to time, but for me, it never was about weight loss in the first place.

I think all you need to do is, like you said, just pick a different goal. All my goals have been strength-related and I stuck entirely to that, and that might serve you as well! In fact, with building strength and muscle, you can expect a solid amount of weight gain, since muscle is denser than fat. The scale never tells the whole picture, and once I realized that, I was even more free from the idea of exercising for weight loss.
 
@uticus I got into weightlifting and competing.

Yes, there's an aspect of weight loss, in the sense that I need to make my weight class, and maxime my strength gains off season, which makes it healthier to me than losing weight for arbitrary beauty standards, but weight loss is not a focus, my weight is not a reason for working out, it's a tool to be used. It's also exclusive the competition. If people don't compete, then they have no reason to care about their weight in weightlifting, only about getting stronger.

I don't care how I look (a lie), I don't lift to look good, my look is a byproduct of my attempts at getting to the highest competition level that I can. My weight is a byproduct of getting and giving my best performances, so I maintain usually the same weight within a 5-10lb range.

Funnily enough, I gained about 25lbs since I started training seriously.

Ultimately, find something that you love, that makes you want to improve in that specific areas. It will allow you to set goals in line with whatever you choose to do irregardless of your weight.
 
@uticus The pandemic interrupted my previous habits and I became very weak and my anxiety was out of control. My weight was the same but my quality of life had turned to shit because everything was hard and it didn't use to be. I decided regardless of weight I needed to be able to carry my groceries home I needed to be able to get to sleep easily most nights. I joined a Pilates studio where the owner had a real interest in how exercise can be supportive of age-related issues like Parkinson's. The classes there almost had a physiotherapy feel to them and it was really refreshing to get away from the Best-butt-ever-torch-your-abs-summer-body atmosphere that can be around gyms.

Also, I unfollowed a lot of fitness social media and just focused on myself, how I feel and what I like to do.
 
@uticus I wanted to be able to easily pick up and carry my toddler, stamina to chase him around all day, and the longevity to be alive to see my grandkids.

I had my son in my late 30's via emergency c-section. I was so weak right after I had my section, that I couldn't even walk a block without stopping, and a gallon of milk was almost impossible to lift. I had constant back pain from a weak core.

Feeling 100% better now after 2 years of lifting weights, walking and running + good nutrition.
 
@uticus I have a 16lb baby. So in order to carry a squirming, long, uneven 16lb weight, I have to get really good at carrying non squirming weights. Right now that’s my aim.

Also, after delivering, I had the very same issues as my 89yo grandma (extremely weak pelvic floor and basically couldn’t lift my legs off the floor). I don’t want to feel that way for many many years and for that, it’s obvious I gotta work!
 
@uticus Setting goals that aren’t about what the scale says. Like being able to do x amount of push ups, chin ups, a handstand, being able to deadlift a certain amount, etc.
 
@uticus If I don't exercise regularly, I can't sleep. Also, strength training and mobility work to prepare the body for aging. Muscle mass is harder to gain as you get older, but easier to preserve what you have. Mobility work means you'll be able to continue living life doing things you love. I don't want to be in my 40s or 50s+, and dealing with the daily pain complaints that people do.
 
@uticus Ive struggled with the same before. I also noticed how fickle that is so sometimes I’d be really motivated because I was heading in the right direction, but then on the flip side it didn’t really take much at all to totally derail me if I randomly gained some water weight or ate more than I meant to. Now I try to focus on how daily tasks are easier. Like carrying my almost 6 year old to his bed when he fell asleep in the car the other night. Being able to make fewer trips with grocery bags. I try to pay attention to older people who are physically independent and idolize them rather than fitness models (who are also great and should be proud of themselves, but that’s just a short term goal). I had a grandad who would lift his small weights every day in a disciplined routine til he died at 99 years old - I want to be like him. And when I recognize something like that it motivates me to keep going. You have to look for what makes sense in your life. Short term right now I also have achievement goals (wanting to complete my first pull up, and wanting to be able to finish a 5k by a certain time).
 
@uticus I dont know if this helps but it gradually just happened for me. I also started with the goal of losing weight but along the way discovered the massive boost it gave my mental health/endorphins and thats what makes me go regularly now. Working out also made me realize I love my body for the function it fulfills for me and even though I am definitely not happy with my weight/appearance Ive learned to be grateful and amazed by what I can do with it. It sounds a lil weird but sometimes Im shocked at how cool the body works, like for example isnt it crazy that you can just walk? Let alone hipthrust/squat crazy weights haha! Im so thankful for my legs for that

I think getting into that mindset helped me a lot, as well as finding a sport that I enjoy and doesnt feel like a chore (I could never do a teamsport for example and would dread it, but I know other people thrive on it). I think its important and healthy to give yourself goals, but maybe focus less on aesthetic ones and more performative ones such as increasing weight/rep or time. Good luck!!!
 
@uticus I always start my fitness based on the need to get my weight down unfortunately. However as I move further along the process (i.e after 1-2 months or so), I start make to make it more about gaining strength. It’s just the satisfaction of lifting more weight, running for more minutes and the feel of generally getting stronger. I might not be as slim-looking as I wanted at the beginning but the satisfaction of being stronger and able to achieve new goal always get me out of the “weight loss” goal.
 
@uticus There's 2 types of exercise that I do that aren't focused around weight loss. One is a "morning podcast walk" as I like to call it, when the weather is nice and I get up early enough to avoid all the neighbors it feels soooo good to get out and do a 40-60 minute walk while listening to Half Size Me or Jordan Syatt. It's also a great way to really wake myself up for the day and engage most of my senses.

The second is weight lifting. Once I start lifting, eating in a deficit goes out the window, so that's when my goals focus more around getting stronger, growing my lower body, and maintaining my weight as best I can.

Everything else I dont enjoy as much, and when I start incorporating it, my focus is usually weight loss. Like right now, Im focused on meeting a step goal (which would be fine if it wasn't 100 degrees outside) and cycling because Im working on the last 5 lbs.. but as soon as it's off and the weather is nice again Im back to my podcast walks and lifting.

Find some type of activity that makes you feel good and make it a part of your routine.
 
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