How do you make exercise not about weight loss?

[daisies89]

@uticus I’d love to look fit and am sincere with myself about that. But I focus on process goals (going to the gym 3x/week) and forget about the aesthetic results. If I’m focused on the process, they’ll come anyway.

I feel good about myself when I meet my goal of going 3x that week.

And the process of going 3x/week makes me feel good in other ways, both mentally and physically too: I do physical therapy exercises after strength training, so I’ve been having less tension and migraines. I go to the hot tub & steam room after and leave the gym with my stress melted away.

Honestly it feels good to just be AT the gym with a bunch of people from different walks of life, just (theoretically) taking care of their unique bodies! I love it!

 

[camryn]

@uticus This is not exactly what you're asking for, and I totally support you if you're looking for a deeper attitude change than what I'm suggesting here. But for me, I enjoy exercise most and manage my weight best when I focus on things that are a bit upstream of weight loss, but not entirely unrelated.

For instance, I enjoy eating much more when I have a real appetite going. I find the desire to build an appetite so that I can enjoy my meals pretty motivating both to go hard in workouts and to not overeat. It doesn't feel like it's about weight loss because it's for my short-term pleasure. By contrast, if I think about it in terms of weight loss I often kind of resent it.

Similarly, I really enjoy the adrenaline and slight exhaustion of going hard at a workout, and I even go into a bit of withdrawal if I don't have these. So pursuing those feelings is really motivating. Desire to manage my weight is definitely somewhere in the background, but focusing on the short-term physical experience is just much more compelling for me.

 

[millervanessa]

@uticus Simple. You make it about feeling better, being more energized and happier, lifting your mood, gaining confidence and the longevity and quality of your life.

 

[mnicasio77]

@uticus tl;dr—
Digging deep in what your motivation is rooted in, enjoying the process, and emotional literacy/regulation is how ya do it. Depending on willpower alone fueled by feelings of “not being good enough” is unhealthy and unsustainable.

Long version—
Finding a way to make it personally beneficial to you while mid-process is how you do this, I feel. Making the process itself your goal, essentially.

For me, exercise helps prevent postural pain from sedentary desk work. I also view it as part of my toolkit to help me regulate my ADHD. So, I see daily results from my exercise.

Aesthetically, it takes a lot longer to see results and gather any sort of pleasure from your hard work. Some days, you will feel down on yourself, and you stop giving a shit about these long term aesthetic goals because you have more important things to worry about. These will be the days where your motivation to go just won’t be there, especially if that motivation is solely fueled by shame or a feeling of not being good enough. And if you don’t go, that “not good enough” shame can make you become avoidant as a way to cope. The tough feelings associated with exercise stops feeling worth it mentally, y’know? And if you brute force motivation, it can be over corrective and unhealthy. I brute forced motivation fueled by ADHD shame when I went to college, and it gave me a mood disorder lol. Your brain needs (not just wants) healthy and rewarding stimulation. Long term goals generally don’t provide that necessary stimulation.

Working out really staves off dopamine seeking behavior which can affect my emotional regulation as well as my ability to socialize and function. And even though I can logically understand what’s happening, the “shame” of ADHD can be intense enough to bring on my depression. That can lead to a ruminative spiral that’s even harder to control. That’s my motivation. I simply feel better mentally if I work out.

When I lift, I feel like I get healthy hits of dopamine. I feel calmer throughout the day, proud of myself for showing up, and generally more in control. My sleep and appetite are also improved. Considering I also take adhd meds, the sleep/appetite management is super important.

How to make exercise sustainably stimulating will be different for everyone. I recommend reading Brene Brown’s books. She really helped me develop mindfulness and emotional literacy.

I feel that lack of motivation is an emotion regulation problem and not a laziness problem. When I understand my emotions and where they come from, I can develop strategies to process my emotions and control my behavior that don’t depend on willpower alone.

 

[giveglorytogod]

@uticus I lift to feel strong. Weight loss is nice and yea I’m cutting but being able to check out of my head for a bit and just lift & feel stronger are the main two reasons I do it.

 

[osvaldo]

@uticus I want my endurance back -- that's where I focus it. I used to be so active before the plague, and before WFH -- and I've now switched to being fully remote. So I don't have the "gonna go to the gym straight from work" deal, and the "walking 4 miles a day around our campus" deal.

And I noticed my endurance slipping down, and I didn't like it.

So now I focus on what I can do to get my endurance back to where I was. More intentional exercise during the day, so that I'll be better at the things I want to do later.

 

[uticus]

@osvaldo Actually wrong word choice not “forced” more like I just wanted to go and it’s a bubble of well we didn’t plan it but somehow we’re walking 3
Miles to get to the restaurant lol.

 

[uticus]

@osvaldo What do you do for intentional exercise? I had this same problem. I used to be forced into being active just from going out with friends ect but now so much is low key or not active that I find I’m naturally not as fit.

 

[osvaldo]

@uticus I really love rowing, running, and lifting -- so trying to work more of that into my day and planning for it. I'd kept running all along, but when I wasn't focusing on the cross training, that running endurance really took a nose dive.

 

[dave858]

@uticus I read the book Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski and a lightbulb went off for me - I really do need exercise to keep my brain healthy. Also, I'm now in my 40s... I am not trying to sculpt myself to be hot, I decided to invest in my future strength by taking care of myself now.

 

[dwells]

@uticus Endorphins, I want to be and feel stronger, Confidence, Improve my overall posture, have an aesthetic and more balanced body. And finally, it’s fun to set goals and go for them and compete with yourself.

 

[neo_ocelot]

@uticus Age a bit! I’m 45 and have just been through early menopause. My workouts are about adding muscle to avoid sarcopenia and building bone to avoid osteoporosis.

I’m on a full range of HRT, progesterone, oestrogen and testosterone as they were all on the floor.

So do what I didn’t in my younger years and harness your hormones and build that muscle and bone now. Your future self will thank you for it.

Peter Attia also talks about if you want to have a good functioning body in your later years, you have to be able to meet certain standards in your younger years. So your fitness now will set you up for later in life.

 

[divorce01]

@neo_ocelot Look, the length of the first 3 words in this comment are consistent with the first 3 digits of pi. This was only the case for 1058 comments out of 315370.

 

[n63music]

@uticus My goals became strength related when I joined an active hobby that required strength to progress. Now I’m excited to see my gains because it means I’m also getting closer to achieving my hobby related goals. In turn being regularly active is also very nice for my mental health. My scale died a while back and I haven’t bothered to put new batteries in

 

[trinitywarrior]

@uticus I find that setting goals is tremendously helpful. I do triathlon, so my goals are typically performance based. "I want to be able to run a mile in X," or "I want to finish a 70.3 distance before the cutoff." During my training, I compare my own data and I'm proud of myself for making progress.

There's also a very significant element of "I can do hard things" in there, especially as I was not at all athletic growing up. Pushing myself to finish my current interval, or making it to the end of a challenging workout, is super motivating.

 

[tonyj88]

@uticus I exercise for other reasons, tbh I haven't even weighted myself since I had to calibrate a new apple watch for accuracy in calorie burning. My main reasons are:

- it's become a habit and I feel bad if I don't do it

- I want to have buff arms like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2

- I want to eat a lot of food because I like food and I have this excess energy to burn

- it keeps my arrythmia and adhd in check

Not knowing how much I weigh has honestly made for a blessed few years for me, at this point I feel like I've shed the 90s culture that I grew up in completely.

 

[that_christian_guy]

@tonyj88 Yes to those Linda Hamilton arms! Same!

 

[adele4naz]

@uticus I started when I was 40, realizing that menopause is juuust around the corner. Working out is a way for me to feel reasonably ok as I age.

 

[legendsh]

@uticus Heart health - I have a family history of midlife heart attacks and this is my main motivation for exercising.

 

[mercymessianicjudiasm]

@uticus It was never about weight loss for me. It's about getting as strong as my body allows me to.The stronger I get, the better I feel, the better I look. So at least for me it works very well. I also love lifting heavy, so competing keeps me on my toes all the time.
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