I don’t want to give up, but I feel like I’m doing it all wrong

[jennifaith]

Hey y’all!

This is maybe the first obstacle that I’ve really been stuck at since I’ve started out and haven’t been able to get past.

I’ve only been lifting since around late June 2020. I know substantial progress isn’t going to come to me within the span of a single summer, but that’s not what my problem is.

For background, I started working out with a slightly higher than average BMI (27-28%?), and I don’t know what it is now since I haven’t had a Styku scan for a few months or been to the doctor’s since March. I’m 5’7, averaging between 165-170 lbs. I’m 16.

My goal is to look like Chun-Li 2.0, though it’s exaggerated, I do look at those general proportions as what I want my body to be in maybe 5 years of work.

Here’s the question: did I start off with the wrong plan?

Workout wise, I think I’m solid. I lift 3x a week full body (this works best for my schedule), just switched from strength and now into hypertrophy (which is mainly why I’m having such a hard time keeping up my morale; I feel I’m not making the best of it). It’s worth noting that I don’t do any form of cardio besides a brisk walk or a 5 min stairmaster sesh w/ stretches to warm up. I’m making progress pretty fast in terms of strength.

My weight’s stayed stagnant, but there have been changes in bodily measurements. In the past month, I’ve lost an inch on my waist and gained an inch on my hips. I assume that something’s happening to my body then, or maybe I measured differently each time (or that’s just me doubting myself).

Here’s where I’m having the least confidence: my nutrition.

Originally, I thought that it would be best that I go into a cut until December at the latest (for a total of 4 months max) to shed some body fat, especially on my stomach. I’ve already seen more definition on my legs and noticed my arms are slimmer, but I don’t think my stomach is budging quite yet. I do track my macros; I mainly aim to get sufficient protein as opposed to focusing on carbs and fats but I make sure I don’t eat an excess of them. For a month-ish, I’ve been eating around 1900 calories, TDEE should be around 2400. The progress of losing weight is invisible on the scale (and difficult to gauge since I’m also supposedly gaining lean muscle), so I’ve brought my deficit down a bit more to about 1700.

I’m scared to bring my caloric deficit lower even though I’m not seeing progress as quickly as I’d like. Apparently I could be losing up to 2 lbs a week, but I hear from others that dropping 0.5 lbs a month with what I’m doing is a healthy goal. I have no clue what I should be seeing or doing anymore. I don’t want to sacrifice muscle mass or miss out on making the fastest newbie gains that I’ll ever make; yet, I’m not satisfied with my body fat and don’t want to lose gains in the future trying to get it off.

So am I doing this wrong? Should I completely disregard trying to lose fat, and switch to a caloric surplus to put muscle on first while I still have the most potential? Will fat loss come naturally as time passes by? Am I just way too impatient and need to keep doing what I’m doing to get that snatched waist? I’ll be happy to hear any tips and stories!

TLDR; I, a beginner, don’t know whether I should try to cut down fat first or if I should be taking advantage of newbie gains.

EDIT: I just realized I forgot to add this, but I’m not interested in recomposition. I know this is an option but I feel like the progress is too slow for me to feel satisfied and motivated.

 

[sonshine415]

@jennifaith A lot of advice here is for adults. I'd caution you to disregard most of it. I wouldn't suggest you do a cut at all. Just eat at maintenance and train. You need the nutrition and that comes with calories. We already know grown adults will cut calories enough to lose weight and end up unable to get the required nutrients to live. Their hormones get jacked up, their bones get jacked up, they lose hair. If you get into this region you could permanently damage your body.

Just keep following your program and eat whole foods as much as you can. As you build muscle your metabolism increases. As your metabolism increases you'll naturally lose body fat. Whatever you do, don't cut your calories and miss out on nutrition.

 

[rbak923]

@jennifaith Hi!
Congrats on deciding to start a fitness journey!

I just wanted to say. You are 16. As much as it doesn't seem like it, you're body is still going to change A LOT over that 5 years.
Do what every exercises make you HAPPY.
Don't worry about cutting or bulking or nutrition. Eat healthy but ENJOY whatever foods you want with your friends and family.
Regardless of what you do, as long as you keep up with regular exercise, you will still look as amazing as you do now in a 5 year span.
Also, you're "ideal" body shape will also change in that 5 years. What you want at 16 is going to be different than what you want at 21.
Don't look up to influencers as your goal.. they don't even look like that.

Sorry for the long reply, I am 25 and my goals at 16 are not even close to what my goals are now, my body is not the same as it was at 16. Continue your journey, but do it in a way that makes you happy.
Best of luck!

 

[hbyej60]

@jennifaith Let me propose two scenarios:

In Scenario A, you make the gym and nutrition your #1 focus in life. You are extremely precise with weighing and measuring your food and hitting your macros. You religiously show up to the gym and progress your lifts. Your life is consumed by seeing a lower number on the scale and more aesthetic changes. You start to become anxious when friends invite you out because it's too tempting to see them eating/drinking and asking you why you aren't... but you feel awkward explaining that its impossible to count the macros in what you order. You start dreading family holidays because the food is too much temptation. The level of pressure builds until it bursts and you devour everything in your pantry. Multiple protein bars, an entire frozen pizza, pints of ice cream. You feel insatiable even though your stomach is in pain and you feel disgusting. You vow never to lose control again and work extra hard in the gym to burn it off... but then it happens several days later... again... and again... until you feel so tortured by food and see no end in sight.

In Scenario B, you view the gym as a lifelong journey of improvement. You have goals, but no strict timelines. You make conscious choices about which foods make you perform your best, but you also don't sacrifice time with friends or family. Your progress is slower, but that also means it is more sustainable and you're less likely to get overuse injuries. It becomes part of your lifestyle and your way of eating feels like you could continue doing it for decades (can you really commit to weighing and macro counting for decades?) You value that fitness is a marathon, not a sprint. Because there is no finish line. Even if you reach your ideal body.... then what? Do you stop? No, you likely find another body part to scrutinize.

Scenario A sounds extreme, but it is exactly what happened to me - and I regret making that choice every day.

I finally found peace when I realized that the joy is in the journey, not the destination. And progressing slower means I get to enjoy the journey for longer. If someone could give you every PR you ever wanted in 365 days of hard work.... what would you do on Day 366 when you have nothing to work toward?

Also, I hope you realize that Chun Li is a fictional character and absolutely no one on earth has that body. It is 100% unobtainable because it is an animation. Even if you find an IG influencer you admire aesthetically, that is HER body and your body is YOURs. They will never look the same.

My biggest advice is to take it slow, reduce the pressure you're putting on yourself, and compare your progress only against the previous version of you. No one else matters.

 

[jennifaith]

@hbyej60 Oh jeez, I’m sorry you had to go through that! I hope you’re better now.

I had never seen scenario A as a possibility for me, since I rarely ever go out (at least for now). I’ve always just relied on intuitive eating if I ever eat out and if the place I eat at doesn’t list calories. I allow myself cheat days if I feel my morale has dropped. I feel that I won’t need refeed weeks because I don’t constrict my carbs, and I just want to make sure my fat intake isn’t dramatically high.

I’m probably just going to be using a calorie tracker if I’m in a cut. The main purpose of the cut(s) that I’m currently in or will be in is to drop some fat, but I know I won’t be cutting and bulking forever. Eventually I’ll likely switch to intuitive eating completely, and I can do mini cuts if I feel like it (so that I’m not restricting for months at a time).

Yes, I realize Chun-Li is fictional haha! I’m not going to be upset if I don’t look like her clone. I’ve just seen women with big legs that seem somewhat similar to her proportion-wise who dub themselves Chun-Li, so I felt that she was an appropriate example. I didn’t want to say that I want to look up to any particular non fictional girl since they’re not exactly like me, so things will be different journey wise.

I definitely won’t be trying to rush things anymore. Since I’m seeing non scale results and just feeling better about my body in general, that should be good enough progress for such a short amount of time. Thank you!

 

[jaericho]

@jennifaith Your body is doing all kinds of things at 16. Just be patient, and remember that there are many factors involved in what your body is going through at your age. Everything you're doing sounds right for where you are at now, and you definitely sound like you're being smart about your research. If you want to feel some improvement, try going a little heavier on your weights. It burns way more calories per workout if you just add that 5-10lbs every week or two. Especially if you're going for Chun Li legs! She is also totally a goal of mine. I always thought my thighs were too thick, and then I saw what a badass she is, and started TRYING for chun li thighs, and now I'm like why am I only a little bit thicker!! And of course the answer is, lift more and eat more.

Maybe learn about body building, not because you should be doing it to achieve your goal, but mainly to learn about and gain respect for what it takes to have the "snatched" waist and tight look. It is not really sustainable even for body builders. They spend 12-20 weeks doing a very specific diet plan in order to finally achieve that tight look AT THE VERY END of the program, just for competition, and then they eat and drink after and go back to looking relatively normal a lot quicker than you'd expect.

Body builders just look like very fit people most of the time, when they aren't close to a competition. Set attainable expectations for yourself. Grow your body and muscles under the fat, and know that then if for some reason you really want to get lean, you can go on a strict diet plan for 12 weeks and look cut, like if you wanted to cosplay as chun li. Then you go back to eating more sustainably and feeling like a goddam human being again (because you might not like who you are on a diet that gives you the temporary aesthetic that you like! And its possible no one else will like you while you're in a carb deficit either!)

 

[robertmichel73]

@jennifaith NUTRITION: Switch to maintenance or a surplus for a 12-15 weeks. To show muscles you first have to have muscles. You build muscles by being at maintenance calories or a surplus. Make sure you are hitting your protein goals. Don't be afraid of carbs because that's what helps fuel your workouts and recovery. I know it feels weird to hit more than 2,000 calories because of our stupid diet culture, but trust the process.

WEIGHTS: Once you have done a progressive overload weight training program for 12-15 weeks, you should notice yourself getting stronger (tracking weights on certain lifts). Then you can go into a deficit for a few weeks to cut down on fat while still lifting heavy. The fat loss will come over time. Fat loss is super slow process.

Focus on non-scale victories like strength gains or body measurements. I suggest checking out Paragon training methods & Laurie Christine King on instagram. top-shelf information.

 

[celluloid]

@jennifaith OP, have you spoken with your doctor? Others have covered some of the TDEE estimation issues and likely expecting too much too fast, but one thing that can hamper progress is medications (especially some birth controls). May be a good idea to schedule a consultation to discuss your goals.

Also- are you weighing out your food? This can be triggering for some people, but I’ve found it really helpful. I was absolutely shocked when I realized exactly what 28g of peanut butter actually looked like.

 

[jennifaith]

@celluloid Hi! I’ve spoken with my doctor in regards to two birth control methods I was on (Nexplanon and combo pill). She said that it shouldn’t affect anything in terms of muscular development and fat loss or retention, but I took the liberty of discontinuing the combo pill and keeping Nexplanon (since it’s progesterone only, maybe I felt it was better and I feel safer with it. The combo pill was just for period regulation). I’m probably coming up to two months off the pill now, and it’s definitely noticeable how much smaller my appetite is and how much less water weight I’m retaining. Mentally, I feel coming off the pill has helped too.

I don’t weigh out my food because I’ve had problems with obsessive eating. I just try to eye it, but I still log my food. I’ll definitely start weighing though, since I’ve heard that there’s a huge margin of error for people that don’t measure by weight. Thank you!

 

[celluloid]

@jennifaith That’s great OP! This random stranger is very proud of you for being proactive with your health.

That being said, please, PLEASE, don’t do anything that will trigger obsessive eating behaviors. That is a battle with mental health I would not wish on anyone. I would give it a few months and if you don’t see the improvements that you’re expecting, just eyeball a little smaller on your portions of calorie dense foods.

 

[lionheartiv]

@jennifaith You're being a little impatient but what you're going through is normal. At 4 months, it doesn't feel like you're a beginner but it's not totally enough time to make HUGE changes. Wondering if you're on the right path at this point is what happens. At your age, you should focus on consistency and building good habits. You're off to a great start if you've been doing this for 4 months already.

I'm a little bit confused as to what the problem is - maybe you can clarify. Are you saying you've been eating 1900 cals a day + 3 workouts a week since late June and your weight hasn't changed at all? Or did you start the 1900 last month and not see change? How often are you weighing yourself? I ask only because it's important to understand how much timing can play a role in that number. And if the change you're seeing is 1 pound a week - you're fine.

Your question about cutting or trying to get bigger really just depends on your goal. I don't think you need to worry about taking advantage of newbie gains.

 

[jennifaith]

@lionheartiv Hey! I feel like there isn’t really a problem per se but more just me being stubborn and impatient that the numbers aren’t showing me what I thought i would be seeing.

From June to August, I was going to the gym 4x a week in an upper/lower split. I ate around 1900-2400 max (my appetite isn’t that big and I miscalculated my TDEE as a commenter pointed out) in an effort to just recomp at first. My greatest error here is that I mainly lifted light for form so I wasn’t getting as much activity as I thought I was, so I miscalculated my TDEE.

Since school started, I switched to 3x a week at the gym doing full body since about early September. I began a caloric deficit about a week before I changed my split, eating about 1800-1900 calories. I went down to 1700 calories mid-September.

I weigh myself pretty spontaneously, but it’s around once a week. I measure my bust, waist, and hips at the beginning of every month, taking note of any extra rest days or weeks (e.g. if I’ve had surgery, not feeling well enough to lift, etc). The number on the scale hasn’t changed anywhere from 165-170.

Hope that cleared some things up! Consistency came really naturally (at least in terms of exercise) since lifting is like my stress reliever. Thanks!

 

[lionheartiv]

@jennifaith Got it. Everyone has a different relationship with the scale so I usually try to be cautious with it. One thing that's important to note if you're just weighing yourself spontaneously is that your weight can really fluctuate based on time of day, when you last ate, sodium intake, sleep, water intake, etc. The number just doesn't mean much if one day you weigh yourself first thing in the morning after using the bathroom vs. a week later after a full meal when you're bloated. It kind of turns into a moving target. You probably know this but it's easy to forget sometimes.

You've got some good advice in this thread but I would just focus on consistency (nutrition + activity), pushing yourself hard when you lift, and making sure you get enough water. I think the other stuff will fall into place with time. I really prefer working out 4 to 5 times a week but that depends on your schedule. You seem to have the right idea and you've already faced some significant hurdles like surgery + starting school.

 

[lukejacquedouglas]

@jennifaith Hey OP, you're 16 years old. Your body is going to continue to grow, change and develop from adolescent to adult for at least another five years if not longer.

It's great to get started on healthy habits now and to find what kind of workouts you enjoy and can sustain. It's also good that you're educating yourself. You need to give yourself A LOT of grace and love your body first and foremost because it's the only one you get and it's doing the best it can.

 

[dawn16]

@lukejacquedouglas Hi my diet is 4 eggs in the morning
1 chicken leg quarter and a breast quarter
With some vegetables and same thing for dinner
And i realsie when i used toeat nuts with it i would burn 2300 calories being alive and eat 2200 to 2300
But now i cut out the nuts and i was sedentary before and i lost 30lbs but noticed no fat difference
Im in the gym now and im doing 20 mins cardio on the ellliptical with a high heart rate and weight lifting
Will i notice fat difference now if i continue my diet
Because i burn 3300 when i exercise and i eat 2000 or 2100
Should i keep going,check my account for the pic of my body
I was 200 now 155 no fat difference 6'3 underweight now but still has fat ,kinda undeweright close to being to
I eat a high protein to build some muscle and low carb to burn some fat and used stored fat as energy and moderate fat
175gof protein
100g fat
30-35g of carbs

 

[jennifaith]

@lukejacquedouglas I feel like I’ve tried to disregard puberty as a factor because of influencers now that have had a lot of success at my age. Thank you! It’s a bit difficult to look into how muscular development and such is affected by puberty since it’s vastly different for everybody and all, but I’ll just let things go with the flow.

 

[iatwdave]

@jennifaith Don’t forget influencers can be projecting through rose-tinted lenses, as well; if you haven’t seen r/instagramreality it’s worth checking out (although it’s gotten more toxic as it gets bigger).

Your body will be constantly changing. It’s great you’re starting healthy habits early, just be aware if they become disordered or preoccupy your thoughts way too much in the pursuit of perfect

 

[jennifaith]

@iatwdave Oh man, I was about to say “But peenerwiener, the people I look up to wouldn’t do that! I’ve seen their real bodies in videos where they’re hitting a new PR” blah blah blah and then I saw Stephanie Buttermore in that subreddit. She’s one of the girls that I had listened to for info, though not looked up to as body goals. I feel misleaded .

I feel like I’ve gotten so used to insta girls having surgery or using photoshop that I can eye it well enough. I know it isn’t always reliable if the photoshop is good, but I try not to be picture perfect regardless. I just feel that if somebody else who started off their journey with similar characteristics to me has been able to achieve it, I have the possibility of being able to get somewhere like that too!

Thankfully, weightlifting has been a very healthy thing for me both mentally and physically. It helps me let all my stress and anger out, get my mind straight, and has been the first form of exercise for years since I’ve quit swimming early in middle school (unless you count me irregularly doing Chloe Ting videos whenever I felt guilty...). I’ve admittedly struggled a bit with eating but I’m not so worried if I accidentally go a little over my deficit, as opposed to me trying to make up for eating more than 1000 calories a couple years ago. Hopefully these things will continue to be healthy outlets for me! My mindset in regards to exercise and nutrition has changed a lot ever since I’ve taken the time to look into it and know what’s best for my body by planning. Thanks

 

[michellegen34]

@jennifaith Fuck all those insta women and influencers and social media people. Fuck.all.of.them. It gives me the absolute rage that young girls like you have to grow up with all that shit, all these false and ridiculous expectations. They are all about making money, selling fantasies, and preying on peoples insecurities.

A 16 year old girl like you will be such an easy target for such a predatory market. When I was 16 I had the worst self-esteem and felt awful about myself. I didn't have access to social media, it wasn't a thing yet, but magazines were enough of an issue for girls my age and older. Back then this was even a topic being discussed, because something that seems so innocuous today, was already really damaging back then. You are only just on the path of learning who you are, your body is still developing, you have so many things to figure out, being so stressed about looking in a particular way, because some other influencer your age has managed to do this, is absolutely not worth your energy. Focusing on the mental side of gym, relieving stress and anger is much better! Keep at it! Make it something you enjoy, rather than a necessity to reach a certain goal. Also.. fuck social media (I say... on social media )

 

[tiyashrivasthav]

@jennifaith One of the things that you mentioned in another comment was feeling good about yourself in the morning and bad about it in the evening. If I could give some perspective: it's okay for your body to not look Ideal Aesthetic 100% of the time. In fact, it's nearly impossible to. All of the ig posts, YouTube videos, etc, are done when the person looks their best, usually in the morning before eating much. You are a human with bodily processes and organs, when you eat your stomach will expand (which isn't necessarily bloating, it could just be food in there!). Give yourself and your body a little slack to do the squishy parts of existence too. And it's okay for you to not have your goal body during your journey to get it. Chun-li is a drawn character that doesn't have to eat, or have periods, or drink water, or any of the things that change your body on a regular basis. Put in the work, but also be understanding that you're not gonna be at 100% aesthetic immediately.