@marthchat Sure, glad to explain. I had requested a sleep study through my HMO, and they required that I complete sleep therapy first; if that didn't work they would pay for the sleep study. I had not slept well since I had a baby in 1996.
Therapy happened all online because it was during Covid lockdown and subsequent months. It was super convenient with no office visits. At the first appointment we discussed my problems and goals and I was given a sleep diary to complete (I think they mailed me a paper copy). It included what time I went to bed, how long it took me to fall asleep (roughly), how many times I woke up and for how long, and when I got up for the day and how well rested I felt.
The part that was individual to me was just being out of sync - my body felt sleepy when my mind did not. No amount of darkness, coolness, putting away screens, BED IS ONLY FOR SLEEP, or caffeine changed that. So our goal was to keep my body awake longer, until my brain was ready to go directly to sleep when I got into bed. I had to start by staying up until 12:30, which is tough to do when you're isolated in a small apartment with no stimuli other than TV (which makes me drowsy)! But I did it. I was AMAZED the first time I did this, I slept straight through to my alarm which I hadn't done in years. After about a week of doing that we started stepping back my bedtime and discovered that between 11:15-11:30 is ideal if I want to sleep at least 6 solid hours.
If I go to bed earlier, I'll wake up too early and feel like hot garbage because my body needs to still be asleep. If I go to sleep too late, like after 12, I have trouble falling asleep. If I get into bed between 11:15-11:30 I'm sleepy within 3 minutes. If I am falling asleep on the couch at 10:00, I get up and fold laundry, do housework, etc. to keep myself awake.
Regarding the "get more sleep!" advice I see here daily, my sleep therapist said: all bodies are different and some do not need 8 hours or more daily. I had about six visits altogether. Things he wanted me to avoid: sleeping pills, melatonin, any viral "sleep hack." Other stuff I added: a fan that comes on when my body naturally warms up around 3:00, so I don't wake up from being too warm (I have a smart plug for this). I use a white noise machine because I live near the airport, and I often listen to a boring podcast, like Northwoods Baseball Sleep Radio, but I don't really need to, it's just a pleasant way to fall asleep - and I take that with me when I travel, so my brain knows "this is a sleeping environment."
I am still amazed at how well this worked. I would recommend this as a first step to anyone with sleep trouble who isn't suspected of having apnea.