how do you manage stress in ways that aren’t exercise??

@bennnn
intensity

Wanted to second that the intensity of workouts really matters. When people say exercise is a stress reducer, they usually mean things that aren't high intensity (which spike cortisol). It's one of the reasons HIIT and Crossfit aren't great if you have any hormonal issues, because they add more stress. Lower intensity activities help more in balancing our your body.
 
@bennnn yes!! i absolutely love yoga and have probably seen the most significant/direct progress with ptsd from that. i just have found it much, much harder during the pandemic to keep it in my routine and not something i “discipline out” of my life by making it a second priority to work/more so-called (in my mind) “rigorous” fitness. it was easier to fully commit to the process of yoga when i could go to a studio or even just have it feel more separate from the rest of my life. it’s much tougher when i’m practicing in my apartment 2 feet away from where i just worked all day, if that makes sense.

but i think i will just have to commit to making it work anyway, since this is where i’m at. thank you for your reply :)))
 
@porcelainrose I know exactly what you mean, my bedroom is also my office and yoga studio. Maybe think about making goals around it like 2x per week, or scheduling it into your workday and put the hour block in your calendar the night before. I think it's also helpful to really pay attention to the progress you are making, whether that is just consistency of starting, endurance, new poses, flexibility, or calmness/awareness that infiltrates other parts of your life.
 
@porcelainrose Faith. The people on this board are so anti-spirituality they downvote anything about it, but the multitudes of people since the beginning of time talking about its benefits aren't wrong.

Science agrees, showing that it can prolong life as much or more than exercise. Psychologist agree that it can allow people to recover from mental illness faster and is a protective against suicide.

Sports agree as so many people discuss the role of belief in strengthening their body.

There is a reason addiction programs like AA have a big spiritual component, because it gives people an external source of power when internally, they feel weak.

As for me, these are my results, glory to God. My thought process as I lift is: "The joy of the Lord is my Strength."

Bench PR 205lb for 5, 215 for 2
Squat 365 for 5
Leg press PR 960lb for 5

No performance enhancers, just faith in God who strengthens me. I haven't gymmed since March, so, you don’t have to gym to relieve stress. Prayer works.

Health: was blind at 14, gallbladder disease in 30s. I was told I'd need an eye transplant and my gallbladder removed. I type this without glasses and I have my gallbladder and ultrasounds show no sign of disease.

Mentally and emotionally. I'm going through some stuff, and I'm able to smile every day despite it.

So, if you are willing to let go of some stress, here is a stress relieving prayer to get you started. Most have heard the short form, but the long form is where the stress relief part really helps:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

As it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make things right

If I surrender to His Will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him

Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.
 
@porcelainrose I read a couple posts, also another vote for meditation, soaking in bathtub, reading, mindless television, baking, knitting, playing video games. Anything that allows me to relax my brain and not think. And I know you don't want to do exercise but there is yin yoga (it is a type of yoga that you relax in poses for longer periods of time, can even use bolsters to help lean into so you are not over exerting yourself, just suppose to be very calm, relaxing and meditative).

The important thing I think I find is not scheduling something for my relaxation time, it has to be something I am in the mood for. Especially since otherwise you seem very regimented. It wouldn't hurt to be like this is stress release time and then at that time decide what you feel you need to relax.
 
@ashley314 thanks so much for your reply. i adore yoga & back before covid i was doing a lot of yin yoga in class/group settings, and honestly looking back that was one of the lower-stress periods i’d had in the last several years. i really fell off once i had to do it all from home, though—it’s probably unsurprising to learn that i struggle with wanting “permission” from some voice of authority to totally “let go” and relax. if a yoga teacher who is right in front of me tells me i can relax, it’s much easier than if i tell myself (or a recording on the internet) to relax, yknow? But maybe i’ll look into finding some online instructors i really click with. i think it’s worth a try anyway :)

and i think you’re so right—it completely has to be intuitive to allow me to break from my constant rigidity and rule-setting. i actually used to find intense workouts very zen and stress-relieving because it got out all my anger and aggression, i’ve just so robbed it of that association by making it compulsory rather than elective. thanks so much again
 
@porcelainrose Self care includes getting needed things done. Do your taxes, clean a closet, get your will updated, catch up on vision and dental appointments.... adulty things like that are all self care and can give you a sense of accomplishment.

A walk outside is also self care. Fresh air , gentle movement are all good for you and will help sleep
 
@porcelainrose I suggest progressive muscle relaxation, it's a form of meditation that has the most similar effects as exercise for me because it involves a physical release. You can just YouTube it or use a free app like Insight Timer to find one that guides you through it. I also want to acknowledge that I saw you're in therapy which is huge. I wish you the best of luck
 
@porcelainrose Thank you so much for sharing with us today. I read your post and saw so much of myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD in August, but had been suffering symptoms for well over a year...same thing, lack of sleep, always running, demands at every corner, burnouts. I won't propose to give advice, because our experiences can still be so different, but I will share what has helped me (my therapist reassessed me this morning and I'm now asymptomatic for PTSD). The hardest part for me was to stop running. To give up the notion that things would fall apart if I just rested. I was lucky enough to be able to take leave from work, the gyms closed because of lockdown and the world literally became just me, alone with myself and I had to begin to be ok sitting with the difficult emotions within my body. Meditation was my first point of solace. Trauma informed meditation to support me and to learn to support myself through those difficult emotions. It allowed me to develop the awareness to acknowledge when I was getting activated, then the opportunity to let it flow shortly and then come back down. Regulating my cortisol changed my day to day life experience. I can literally see it on my face and feel my body differently now. Second, puzzles. Puzzles require just enough attention and stimulation to keep my mind from racing but offer enough stillness to learn to slow down. Third, journaling. I don't take to writing so I did video journals to release those difficult things that haunted me, to express emotion (name it to tame it as they say)...I needed them to go somewhere outside me. I wasn't getting enough exercise so I took up cycling and walks in nature. I would say the meditation was the most impactful, it really helped me to recognize what was happening in me and offered tools to support myself while regulating moods. First thing in the morning and last thing before bed. It helped me relax enough to fall asleep and stay asleep. Meditation is like a vacation for my mind. Cheering you on OP, hopefully something in these responses offers the support that best suits you.
 
@porcelainrose Seconding The Body Keeps the Score as an important and game-changing read for dealing with trauma! Also the recs for listening to the Nagoskis talk about the stress response cycle -- in addition to their talk with Brene Brown, there's an episode of their Feminist Survival Podcast about this that's really good. Actually I fully love and recommend that podcast in general.

Also seconding the gardening/nature recs!!

Best of luck to you.
 
@porcelainrose When I feel at my breaking point in stress, I just try to not exist. This means I go lay down and I don’t talk to anyone (such as my boyfriend who I live with, or even texting my friends—I just don’t want to talk to anyone or have them talk to me). I just lay or sit, and I might listen to music, I might read some awful buzzfeed articles and lists or take stupid quizzes, and I just let my brain melt a bit.

But I also know that I need me-time to recharge, and just last week I felt pulled in too many ways (new job where we’re in the busy season, grad classes starting, my boyfriend, my friends, our puppy, our cats—it felt like everyone needed something from me, even if it was just a text or Snapchat or my time—I was tired of focusing my energy outwards). I hid under the blanket for ten minutes and just stopped being for that time.

I hope this helps you out!
 
@porcelainrose Not sure if it's relevant/ proper to talk about here, but a few times I year I trip on magic mushrooms. I find it helps keep my mind in a good place.

Besides this, regular meditation and cooking are my usual outlets. Oh, and watching the same TV shows over and over again, there's something comforting about knowing what's going to happen.
 
@crosslogos7118 Second the mushroom thing. I’ve also started occasionally microdosing and that helps a ton with my sleep and ability to clear my mind.

That said, mushroom microdosing is a still a grossly under-researched practice. There are tons of forums and articles about how and where to start and things to consider, etc. But still no controlled studies, so it is very much experimental at this point.

Anyone considering this should A) read about it... a lot, and B) have a strong, realistic sense of self to determine whether or not it’s right for you to try.
 
@porcelainrose I'm so proud of you for talking to your doctor! I hope that is not too weird for an internet stranger to say. But that's honestly SO hard to do, and you did it. This is a Feat of Thorsday sort of thing.

Another vote for mindfulness meditation! The '10 Percent Happiness' app/book also has a podcast so that might be worth a listen (I enjoyed the book and it's sequel Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, but I haven't listened to the podcast yet) , and I know that 'Headspace' is another popular meditation app that now has some kind of Netflix thing?

Also I really suggest some kind of craft/creative thing, even if (especially if) you don't consider yourself creative. Making stuff can be very rewarding. However if you're not currently creative I'd start with stuff like adult coloring books, diamond painting or that kind of thing. I think when you're super stressed it will be hard to start painting or knitting without just making yourself more stressed out because you're somehow not immediately perfect at something you've never tried before. (perfectionist tendencies? Moi? Never!)

Re-read old books. Kids books. Cringey stuff you read when you were 13 and loved. When I'm stressed I just don't have the mental energy to try and read something New. But I can lose myself in an old favorite.

Are you in a place physically/mentally where you can have a pet? A nice warm cat on your lap is a good cortisol lower-er.

When you go on a walk try to go somewhere with some nature. Take off any fitness trackers and headphones and just... walk. Stop and take pictures! I remember one time feeling the way you describe, just hit by a bus, but I dragged myself to a park because I didn't want to miss cherry blossom season and I couldn't believe the difference it made to my mental health.
 
@porcelainrose Do you have access to a body of water? Cold water immersion can be really beneficial if done safely. I try to go in the ocean at least once a week to float in the cold water (around 53F currently) and talk with friends. But even a cold bath or shower can have similar benefits. It's extremely therapeutic both physically and mentally, but the cold will certainly get your heart racing. I start to feel antsy when I haven't moved enough either, so it can be hard for me to just get in the water and chill. But the cold really snaps you into the present and not thinking about the things you need to do or haven't done. I recently read this article, in case you need more convincing (although the author does swim while in the water): https://thebolditalic.com/i-free-swim-in-the-frigid-bay-waters-to-process-my-ptsd-6bff636417f4. If you (or anyone else reading this) is interested, please make sure to do so safely; there are lots of tips online, but most importantly, don't go alone.
 
@isht Second on the water thing, but I'm not sure about the temp, as it may trigger cortisol response. But definitely water immersion is stress relieving and helps with pain management.
 
@porcelainrose I listen to audio books. I also did therapy for awhile, it was good for me. It’s like exercise for your feelings. I think every person alive could probably benefit from it.
 
@porcelainrose I moderate the sub r/HealthOver30, and having a supportive community and connecting with people in a similar place in their lives helps a lot to manage my stress. Sometimes just being like, hey, my cat bit me yesterday and my job is overwhelming and I feel like I should have more answers because I’m 37 and my knees clicked super hard when I stood up and I think about the stacks of laundry when I’m trying to meditate, and having people say, “oh yeah, me too”, feels good.
 
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