Best shape of my life at 41, but daily life/work balance is slowly killing me

[sarahsanrio]

@shirl Yeah, we do let the kids buy lunch one day a week, but they still have to have separate snack/lunches so that's always going to be part of the routine. Yes, I could try to go Saturday or Sunday. She goes Saturday morning as well, but most times I don't join her, instead sleeping in to gain an extra hour or so if possible. (until kids wake me up, usually earlier than i'd like)

I'm pretty new to compound lifts and such. Have a college age lower back injury that makes it very easy for me to tweak/sprain my back, so deadlifts and bent over rows have always worried me, and I generally don't like doing them. It's hard for me to make it so I feel the work/strain in my glutes/quads, and usually only feel hip flexor/lower back strain. (although I've had trainers say my form and motion is good so idk??) Squats are fine but I don't do heavy bar squats. Just for general muscle group exercise but probably should increase for strength/muscle growth. Maybe I can skip one day and do a Saturday of like 5x5 strong lifts or something? Also have a pull up bar at home I use at times.

 

[shirl]

@sarahsanrio Avoiding injury is the most important thing. Do what makes you feel comfortable. You don't have to do bent over rows. Seated rows accomplish the same thing. If your gym has a hex bar, you could try that as well. It's a nice in between of a squat and deadlift.

 

[danslionden]

@sarahsanrio I’m in a fairly similar position, but I’m 44. I was having trouble with insomnia while I was cutting, but now that I’m bulking it’s fine. You definitely need to sleep, it’s the third pilar of health along with diet and exercise. While I was cutting I’d have to start a bed time routine two hours before. You should start this at 7:30 every evening.

Put away phone in the kitchen so can’t check reddit in bed.
Turn all the lights low, warm light or candle light only. No tv or screens.
Take a nice hot bath for a hour.
And then just read a book.
I don’t have a partner, but I’d imagine this would be a good time for intimacy as well (which would help with sleep).

Also, meditation helps.

 

[trvlgurl]

@sarahsanrio

• reduce your commute time. Easier said than done, I know. But that's one thing that's completely under your control if you want it to be.
• cut down your gym days on weekdays. Rest days are good! You're already hotter than hell! Most 41 year olds are schlubs!
• double-check your hormones; check your estrogen, thyroid, prolactin, PSA, lipids to make sure your testosterone therapy is dialed in.
• have a serious conversation with your wife about getting to sleep earlier regularly. Having different schedules requires some negotiation.
• schedule sex dates! It sounds like a buzz kill but scheduling your sexy time can be awesome!

 

[sarahsanrio]

@trvlgurl I may start cutting back to M/W/Th and either try Friday or Saturday. So at least Tuesday is a 'rest' day.

I have been getting routine bloodwork done with an endocrinologist, tied to my GP's office, who monitors me. Test is leveled out and other numbers are good. PSA # has slightly risen but she believes it's due to my T serum being changed somewhat recently and my body adjusting. I am to be tested in October to see if PSA stabilizes or is still changing and possible sign of risk.

 

[dawn16]

@sarahsanrio I’m not going to give much advice. Like others said something has to give. Having a happy wife is important.I like the simple and sinister workout. Done in 10-20 mins tops. If i were you I’d ditch the classes and hit the weights at the gym instead. A basic barbell program done in 30-45 mins as opposed to 1-2 hours of cardio won’t leave you drained and actually boost your energy and can increase t-levels. You won’t get “swole” that easy trust me... that’s like the women who think lifting will turn them into freaks... it doesn’t. You won’t turn into a hulk overnight. But you will strengthen your body, your joints and improve your quality of life and energy levels. And lastly while sleep is important we all have different requirements . I haven’t slept more than 5-6 hours a night since my kids were born 19 years ago. I work 6-7 days a week usually 8-10 hours and until this past month that was all on a 3 shift rotation. It’s tough but it can be done with planning and some sacrificing.

Source: me a 40 year old strongman who’s just trying to be as strong as he can while balancing a family and work.