Busy Dad, tired of feeling like shit. Asking for advice

[tomaszpl]

Hello, I’m 32, 6’1, 190lbs. I have a 2.5 y/o, and a 1.5 y/o. I work full time, and over the past few years my health has declined. I now work in sales, and while I mostly work from home, my work-life is very sedentary. I’ve gained probably 40lbs in two years, I’m always tired, and always have a headache. I can fall asleep at any time. It’s gotten so bad that my wife has to drive every time we got some where non-local. I start dozing off. No energy.

People, and my doctor have all told me sleep, exercise, and eat better.

In the past month I have adjusted my diet, stopped drinking beer (and alcohol in general), stopped snacking between meals, and don’t eat anything after dinner.

At this point, with my work and kids, going to the gym is out of the question. For one, we cannot afford a membership (my wife stays at home with the kids), and at this point, going to the gym would require me to cut into sleep that I am already not getting enough of.

I am asking for some advice on some small activities I can do at home that would help me. I’ve been doing jumping jacks in the morning while my coffee is brewing (I’ve also recently reduced my caffeine intake significantly) to get my blood pumping.

Can anyone assist? Thanks.

-a really tired dad

EDIT: Damn! This post blew up. We are traveling from relatives this weekend so I’ll try to extend thanks when we get back—thank you all!

EDIT 2: First off, thank you all for all the advice! Second, It would take me forever to respond to all these, so I’ll address a few key points:

-I actually am going for a sleep test next week

-I do not watch TV, like at all

-I recently (as in the last week) started taking vitamin D. Already taking b12 and Omega 3

-My kids generally sleep through the night but my brain is still wired to wake up at every sound

-I generally sleep 6-7.5 hours each night

-Have not thought about low T, will ask my doctor

-My stress is high. Financially, our heads are above water, but our feet aren’t touching the bottom. I work in sales, so we live off of my commissions. When it’s good, it’s good. But when it’s not, it’s not.

-I drink nothing but coffee and water. No soda or energy drinks ever.

NOTE: Someone here said it was “bullshit” I couldn’t make it to the gym. First, they have no idea how close I live to a gym; second, they do not know my family’s budget; third, I am a very involved father. I may be tired while I do it but I co-parent with my wife. I don’t have the luxury of telling her I’m off to the gym, with travel and showering afterwards, for 2.5-3 hours. I spend a lot of time with my children and take care of our home. I help with the cleaning, I do the majority of the cooking, we split the kids bath/bed routine every night. If I had the time or resources to go to a gym, I would go. The point of this post was to ask for advice on how to exercise in small amounts at home in the very brief free time I have.

 

[rose_water]

@tomaszpl Do you snore? If so, get checked out for sleep apnea. Cronical tiredness is one of the symptoms and it sounds like you suffer from it

 

[ams59]

@rose_water This. You have several diagnostic criteria for sleep apnea. Would be worth mentioning to your PCP. If you have sleep apnea it greatly decreases or even eliminates the amount of restorative sleep you can get. If you have sleep apnea a CPAP (mask you wear while sleeping) could make a world of difference. Also sleep apnea may resolve if you lose weight but this may be hard to do if you are chronically fatigued.

 

[oldilocks]

@rose_water Mention not being able to drive distances to your doctor. Sometimes they need to hear something unusual to snap them out of 'oh everyone's tired, sleep more'.

 

[uilenroc]

@rose_water This.

I had similar symptoms, and that is what it turned out to be. The first time I drove a long distance after being on my CPAP I felt like a super hero. No more drowsiness.

Now o just need to work on all the other bits (eating better, exercise, etc...lol)

 

[aydoubleugee]

@rose_water It's also a symptom of thyroid issues, as is weight gain. OP should get a full thyroid panel.

 

[magembe]

@tomaszpl Sounds like you’ve already made some positive changes with stopping the alcohol.

I’ve got young kids and you’ve got to get it where you can. Take them for a walk. Do some push ups. Stretch, yoga is amazing.

Also take it easy on yourself, little changes will become big changes in time if you keep at them.

Be awesome, you got this!!

 

[megustajesus]

@tomaszpl Pushups, chin ups, sit ups, burpees. Military does them for a reason!

 

[caleb80]

@megustajesus Start small and make things easy for yourself.

Do you LITERALLY only have 10 minutes to spare? Set a timer for 10 minutes and see how many burpees you can do. Do five at a time, and catch your breath. Then up it to 7 reps at a time, or maybe 10. Keep your breaks between sets as short as possible, and just see how many you can do in 10 minutes. Let's say you got 35 reps. The next time around see if you can get 36, or maybe 40.

One exercise. No equipment. Works your legs, glutes, arms, chest, shoulders, abdomen and more. Can be done anywhere, and can thoroughly kick your ass in 10 minutes or less.

If you can get yourself to do that ten minutes a day 3 to 5 days a week for 3 weeks, you'll get a habit going, and will have something solid to build upon. Good luck!

 

[perplexedearthling1]

@megustajesus This.

Bodyweight training requires no gym membership, you don't gotta drive anywhere, just half an hour to an hour of your time.

 

[pauleddu]

@megustajesus check out r/bodyweightfitness for some suggested workouts that do not require a gym

Also: walking

 

[betaninja]

@megustajesus

sit ups

Sit-ups suck. Once you can do, say, ten, stop doing them. They’re a terrible core exercise and potentially bad for your back.

 

[megustajesus]

@betaninja False.

 

[betaninja]

@megustajesus Sit-ups are an inefficient exercise because most of the movement is done by the hip flexors. Once you’re beyond the crunch component of the movement it’s no longer core.

Sit-ups have an incomplete range of motion so you’re not fully working the core because you can’t go below horizontal unless you use a Swiss ball.

Sit-ups are difficult to load and progress unless you want to do a tonne of reps and that is not effective for strength or muscle growth. If you want cardio do cardio.

Sit-ups involve spine flexion which you should avoid if you have lower back issues, and there is no reason to flex your spine to work your core. Plenty of exercises that involve the core and don’t flex the spine that also don’t have the other issues.

 

[dawn16]

@betaninja Thanks, good to know!

 

[betaninja]

@dawn16 No worries bud.

Worthwhile core exercises: lying leg lifts, hanging leg lifts (even better), ab-wheel or rings roll outs, pallof band, reverse hypertension.

The upside to all of these is a straight back and when done correctly they’re all cote exercises.

 

[megustajesus]

@betaninja Do you have anything useful to add to the OP's question or is this your thing, having to explain all the contraindications to support your generalized statement?

 

[betaninja]

@megustajesus You always act like a petulant child when you’re wrong? I was adding to OP’s question by pointing out where he’d be wasting his time and potentially irritating injuries.

 

[megustajesus]

@betaninja Wrong? You've an opinion. It's different than mine. When you have you add "if you already have lower back pain" to your "[insert exercise] may cause lower back pain", that's pretty telling. A petulant child points out something they disagree with and provides no alternative, no better option. You do you, buddy.

 

[scottsony]

@megustajesus Be careful with burpees, they can cause lower back problems.