Hi y’all! I really want to join a gym as a way to get out of the house and be in a fitness centered space. I am however worried about joining a gym, because I am on the bigger side and very inexperienced. This is something that I am very self conscious of and I’d be embarrassed with someone else helping me. It sounds stupid as I type all of this but I’m also worried about the men in the gym and there are no women’s only gyms in my area. I worry because people are ignorant and stupid and I know of plenty of women who have gotten harassed at or outside of the gym. Is this something I just have to get over or are these valid concerns? I already know I am out of shape but I’m scared of others seeing that.
First time gym anxiety
- Thread starter freekevio
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- beginner fitness
@freekevio Also consider going earlier in the morning. It tends to be the blue collar crowd and we all mind our own business judgment free
@dawn16 So truee. Early morning is the way to go if I’m going alone I don’t want anybody to bother me.
Afternoon is like a social club. I can never get on anything because everyone’s just standing around and talking but perpetually “in the middle of a set”. Sometimes I still go around then but it’s because my friends are there which kinda proves the point I guess lol.
Afternoon is like a social club. I can never get on anything because everyone’s just standing around and talking but perpetually “in the middle of a set”. Sometimes I still go around then but it’s because my friends are there which kinda proves the point I guess lol.
@andiluvs I go at 4 am during the week, and it's honestly the best decision I made. It's 95% the same small crowd and it's like we all just do our thing. I start off in a huge hoodie ball cap pulled low and noise canceling headphones. About 15 min im in a tank top, sweating, etc etc. No one cares. Ask for a spot, you get a spot. Ask someone to record a set, they'll do it. Without ever having a discussion prior. That coupled with my family still be asleep and work not started, pure bliss; peace and quiet.
geraldineajayi
New member
@freekevio I’ve been going to the gym for about three months now - 41M and I think it’s a pretty common feeling. It kind of sucks being one of the least fit people in the gym but the truth is that nobody cares and if your gym is anything like mine and the ones I hear others experience it will be one of the most supportive environments you can be in.
What I did when I started was showed up 3-4 times a week and did only cardio, I wasn’t confident enough to go on the floor and get into a real workout. I did that for about three weeks.
Then I would skip the warmup and do three different machine based exercises on the perimeter of the gym and then retreated to my comfortable cardio station. I did that for a couple weeks again.
Then I switched to a 15 minute warmup and did a machine only based workout and would do 5-6 different exercises. And then three weeks ago I moved into dumbbells and machines.
It took time before I believed what I read that everyone in there is generally focussed on their own workout, happy to help if you ask for advice, and it is highly unlikely anyone will make you feel uncomfortable.
That’s how I build up my confidence, I also second going early in the morning - avoid the 5-9 pm time range where the groups of young guys are moving around in squads - that’s all good but not my desired environment.
Not sure if that helps at all but now I am very comfortable in there, it just takes time to get used to a new and foreign environment. Also you will get hooked on your gains whatever the goals are, a higher lift, losing a pound, those results feel fantastic.
What I did when I started was showed up 3-4 times a week and did only cardio, I wasn’t confident enough to go on the floor and get into a real workout. I did that for about three weeks.
Then I would skip the warmup and do three different machine based exercises on the perimeter of the gym and then retreated to my comfortable cardio station. I did that for a couple weeks again.
Then I switched to a 15 minute warmup and did a machine only based workout and would do 5-6 different exercises. And then three weeks ago I moved into dumbbells and machines.
It took time before I believed what I read that everyone in there is generally focussed on their own workout, happy to help if you ask for advice, and it is highly unlikely anyone will make you feel uncomfortable.
That’s how I build up my confidence, I also second going early in the morning - avoid the 5-9 pm time range where the groups of young guys are moving around in squads - that’s all good but not my desired environment.
Not sure if that helps at all but now I am very comfortable in there, it just takes time to get used to a new and foreign environment. Also you will get hooked on your gains whatever the goals are, a higher lift, losing a pound, those results feel fantastic.
rebeccaw19
New member
@freekevio My first time in the gym, I had some pretty significant “gymtimidation” (former really skinny guy here). But as I kept going, I realized no one really cares what you’re doing and the majority of people will respect you for putting in the time/effort to get fit.
And you can always start slow when you first join. Maybe walk on the treadmill for 20-30 minutes, then as you get more comfortable, venture over to the machines/weight section.
And you can always start slow when you first join. Maybe walk on the treadmill for 20-30 minutes, then as you get more comfortable, venture over to the machines/weight section.
@freekevio Get a hat with a bill on it and a hoodie too. Wear the hat low just above your eyes, enough for you to see but low. And put the hood up. It helps me with anxiety in the gym and the thought of people looking at me. Idk why but I feel If they can't see my face as much they won't be looking at me.
snipergosh1
New member
@dawn16 Hello!
I’m also a lady who gyms who is also on the bigger side.
I used to actually use the gym frequently, but due to covid stopped going. I was already fairly big (I think to think I was “fat fit”) but after the pandemic, I must’ve put on like 30lbs.
After putting on so much weight so rapidly, I felt so intimidated to go the gym, somewhere where I used to feel comfortable. I eventually managed to drag my friend with me (a bit like an emotional support person) and got going, starting on things I was already familiar with - like a treadmill. Eventually I stepped in when it was quieter during the day and built up to going when it’s busy.
I’ve not managed to get into the weight section on my own yet, but I can navigate the rest of the place on my own.
Point is, your feelings are valid. Gymtimidation is a real thing and a very natural thing too. Things that might help;
• do you have a friend you can take with you?
• do you have a gym that offers a women’s only area?
• is there a gym that’s women’s only that’s slightly further out that you could travel to?
• can you go super early when there are less people?
• can you ask staff for an induction?
• can you afford a few sessions with a PT to show you how to use machines/do exercises to give you confidence?
• if not, do you have a friend who is gym savvy?
I’m not gonna lie to you, there is always the chance that someone could say something unsavoury to you. But it’s one of those things that doesn’t happen often. Anecdotally, I’ve never been harassed at the gym and I don’t know anyone who has been either. Most people mind their own business and just want to smash their session!
I hope this helps even the littlest bit!
I’m also a lady who gyms who is also on the bigger side.
I used to actually use the gym frequently, but due to covid stopped going. I was already fairly big (I think to think I was “fat fit”) but after the pandemic, I must’ve put on like 30lbs.
After putting on so much weight so rapidly, I felt so intimidated to go the gym, somewhere where I used to feel comfortable. I eventually managed to drag my friend with me (a bit like an emotional support person) and got going, starting on things I was already familiar with - like a treadmill. Eventually I stepped in when it was quieter during the day and built up to going when it’s busy.
I’ve not managed to get into the weight section on my own yet, but I can navigate the rest of the place on my own.
Point is, your feelings are valid. Gymtimidation is a real thing and a very natural thing too. Things that might help;
• do you have a friend you can take with you?
• do you have a gym that offers a women’s only area?
• is there a gym that’s women’s only that’s slightly further out that you could travel to?
• can you go super early when there are less people?
• can you ask staff for an induction?
• can you afford a few sessions with a PT to show you how to use machines/do exercises to give you confidence?
• if not, do you have a friend who is gym savvy?
I’m not gonna lie to you, there is always the chance that someone could say something unsavoury to you. But it’s one of those things that doesn’t happen often. Anecdotally, I’ve never been harassed at the gym and I don’t know anyone who has been either. Most people mind their own business and just want to smash their session!
I hope this helps even the littlest bit!
snipergosh1
New member
@freekevio Although I think it's an understandable concern to have, I doubt you'll experience any negativity.
People go to the gym to improve themselves. You'll be seen as putting in work to make yourself better.
We all start our journeys from different places. It would be rare for someone to take time out of their day to put someone else down in the gym.
People go to the gym to improve themselves. You'll be seen as putting in work to make yourself better.
We all start our journeys from different places. It would be rare for someone to take time out of their day to put someone else down in the gym.
triangulumvivid
New member
@freekevio It always makes me so sad when people call their feelings stupid. Your concerns are not stupid but I do think it’ll be less of an issue than you think it is. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in and make sure you have headphones to listen to music and drown out your surroundings. Try to stay focused on your workout and not think about anyone else there. There are lots of “beginner friendly” or “shy girl” youtube videos and shorts out there to look at so you feel more secure before you start using machines! I promise you that almost anyone at the gym will want to help you and be happy for you beginning your fitness journey. Some people may try to help correct form and if you let them know that you aren’t looking for help they should back off. Good luck on your journey! I was super scared to start too
hhogletree
New member
@freekevio If your gym offers group exercise classes, that might be a less stressful way to start—hand out in the back row and do your best. The gym should offer to help you set up a weight lifting routine that lists settings for machines and the weight, reps, and sets to use.
But please keep this in mind: serious gym goers worry about themselves and getting their workout done. I won’t promise that there won’t be assholes there because they’re everywhere, but if someone is actually bothering you or harassing you, the gym managers should know.
But please keep this in mind: serious gym goers worry about themselves and getting their workout done. I won’t promise that there won’t be assholes there because they’re everywhere, but if someone is actually bothering you or harassing you, the gym managers should know.
@freekevio I think your feelings are definitely valid and they are rooted in reality but that's not the only reality.
Here is my thought ... ask an employee to give your a tour of the gym so that way you have somebody guiding you. At my gym I just walked on the treadmill for the first few times so I could survey the weight area without looking like a lost puppy and/or weird. But the reality is that nobody is thinking about us as much as we are thinking about ourselves.
I think you'll be surprised how many larger people are at the gym. Well, I guess it depends on the type of gym you go to. But if you're going to just a regular fitness center (think YMCA or even Planet Fitness, etc) you're going to see a mix of people.
I think maybe I'd be a good idea for you to just go to the gym for the first time just to get acquainted. Just walk around without even the intention of working out.
And just remember...if somebody is judging you, that is seriously so sad on their behalf. Like what's to judge about a person coming to better themselves and increase their wellness?
Keep your head held high and please keep in mind that at some point (this point is different for everyone) the anxiety surrounding the gym will lessen more and more.
For me.... I like to just have my earphones in and kind of keep my gaze down. Not because I have to but it helps with my anxiety too. I still experience it! We are our own worst self critic lol
Best of luck and PLEASE go! And please go at least a few times before deciding its not for you. Hopefully you don't experience that feeling at all but just in case...push through it because I can attest it DOES get easier.
Here is my thought ... ask an employee to give your a tour of the gym so that way you have somebody guiding you. At my gym I just walked on the treadmill for the first few times so I could survey the weight area without looking like a lost puppy and/or weird. But the reality is that nobody is thinking about us as much as we are thinking about ourselves.
I think you'll be surprised how many larger people are at the gym. Well, I guess it depends on the type of gym you go to. But if you're going to just a regular fitness center (think YMCA or even Planet Fitness, etc) you're going to see a mix of people.
I think maybe I'd be a good idea for you to just go to the gym for the first time just to get acquainted. Just walk around without even the intention of working out.
And just remember...if somebody is judging you, that is seriously so sad on their behalf. Like what's to judge about a person coming to better themselves and increase their wellness?
Keep your head held high and please keep in mind that at some point (this point is different for everyone) the anxiety surrounding the gym will lessen more and more.
For me.... I like to just have my earphones in and kind of keep my gaze down. Not because I have to but it helps with my anxiety too. I still experience it! We are our own worst self critic lol
Best of luck and PLEASE go! And please go at least a few times before deciding its not for you. Hopefully you don't experience that feeling at all but just in case...push through it because I can attest it DOES get easier.
sharramanala678
New member
@freekevio Some gyms offer an introductory session with a personal trainer where they can show you how to use the equipment. Might be worth asking to see if they have something like that available?
But honestly just go, you might feel uncomfortable at first but I promise you no one really cares what you’re doing, they’re all trying to work on themselves. Good luck!
But honestly just go, you might feel uncomfortable at first but I promise you no one really cares what you’re doing, they’re all trying to work on themselves. Good luck!
@freekevio Just start small! Whenever I’m going back after awhile or going to a new one I just try to get in the door , walk on the tread and scope the place out. Then slowly start mixing it up on the machines and weights.
@freekevio Hi, I think you’ll be okay. I know it probably depends on the location and gym but I’ve never seen anyone look at someone trying to get into shape negatively. It’s true you may have people try and give you pointers but it’s usually a good crowd.
@freekevio Your feelings are valid, and while I don’t know what it’s like to be you or have those fears; I too struggled greatly with going to the gym for the first time. As a (very skinny) guy I was a nervous wreck before going the first time. What if people stare at me? Are they judging me? Do they think I’m scrawny? Do I look stupid trying to figure this machine out? Once I went there, I very quickly realized that 99% of people there are in their own heads as well and don’t have the time to worry about other people or what they’re doing. If you walk through that door, you have the hardest part over with, and that in and of itself deserves some respect. I’ve found people to be so much more friendly than I had imagined they would be, and very few people judge. And those that do, really don’t matter.
If possible, having someone to go with makes me 100% better. You got this
If possible, having someone to go with makes me 100% better. You got this
@freekevio There is honestly nothing to worry about. Most people will try to help if they see you doing something incorrectly or see that you need a spotter. At the end of the day, everyone is there to look/feel better - not to judge another person’s ability/size. Feel free to watch others on a machine to see how it’s done and remember to not overwork yourself otherwise you’ll be too sore to want to continue lol. Honestly, you’re your biggest critic - don’t let yourself from becoming better.