Gym employee hit on me and asked for my number.. do I mention how uncomfortable that makes me to a different manager?

[afmtv]

@roses1958

he’s a human too

Nah he’s a fuck face. Burn him and every cunt like him to the ground and let the consequences of their dipshittery undo them.

 

[skipster]

@roses1958

to assume that this guy was all like ‘fuck yes I will use my power of being employed here to coerce this girl into a date with me’ is fucked and not realistic.

Whether it was conscious or not that's exactly what happened here. OP stopped what she was doing to talk to this guy because he was an employee - the only authority figure in the space - and she thought she was in trouble. That's fucked up and violating and gross. He didn't give OP any grace when he interrupted her to sexualize her in the gym.

"Give people some grace" - give me a break. We're talking about reporting his own inappropriate actions to management, not setting a fucking mob on the guy. He crossed a boundary and OP has no responsibility to protect him. And if the gym management isn't concerned about their employees behaving that way, then OP should know that too so she can spend her money at a gym that gives a shit about their members' safety and well-being.

 

[roses1958]

@skipster I’m trying to understand where I said OP has a responsibility to protect him, and where it was mentioned she was sexualized? Whatever OP decides to do is her business at the end of the day. That’s it.

 

[skipster]

@roses1958 OP posted here because this isn't sitting well with her (for good reason). By telling OP not to report him unless it happens again - when it should never have happened in the first place - you're telling her that this guy's feelings matter more than hers. And hitting on someone is sexualizing them. She was at the gym, not a singles night in a bar. You should absolutely never feel sexualized or objectified or unsafe because of the staff at your gym. And if you do, management should have the opportunity to get rid of the people creating that toxic environment.

 

[roses1958]

@skipster Yeah, no. Thank you for taking everything out of context and creating your own little world. OP was uncomfortable, and if you read the post you can see that she herself is 1. Debating on telling management and 2. Originally concerned with how to let the guy down gently (in which case, she shouldn’t have to worry about doing it gently because once again, it’s not him she needs to mold for.) Nonetheless, shooting your shot is NOT sexualizing someone Jesus fucking Christ. He needs to be made aware that obviously this isn’t something he can do but making him out to be this villainous person is fucked up. Nonetheless, OP is more aware of the situation than we are and as of right now hasn’t mentioned this guy being creepy, just oblivious. Re-fucking-lax.

 

[afmtv]

@roses1958

Nonetheless, shooting your shot is NOT sexualizing someone

Yes, it fucking is.

You think he’s asking her out because the three sentences of dialogue they shared was riveting? He approached her out of the blue without knowing her from Eve for her great personality and intellect?

Re-fucking-lax

God, you’re a PMB

 

[skipster]

@roses1958 OP asked how to let this guy down gently because we as women are socialized to be sweet and docile and to always protect mens' egos. She doesn't owe an ounce of gentleness or niceness to someone who invaded her space unprompted and used his inherent authority as the gym staff on duty to do it. I never said he's a villain, but his actions are gross and predatory and deserve to be called out as such the first time and every time after.

I'm done with tip toeing around men because they're "oblivious." I don't care about their intentions when the end result is that I feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Women police themselves in the gym all the time to prevent exactly what happened here to OP and it's gross to tell her not to report it. If I used my authority as an employee to hit on somebody at my job it would get me fired, and rightly so.