troubledautisticsinner
New member
@royblizzard Has no one built an excercisers dating app??
Hot take: ladies, is dating getting difficult after doing CrossFit?
- Thread starter royblizzard
- Start date
-
- Tags
- crossfit
@royblizzard I think you are stuck between battling issues or insecurities so you might need to look in specific pools. I am hopelessly mixing my metaphors. Sorry.
You are muscular and strong that makes a certain type of guy insecure (small minded ones). They don't want to feel small or be the butt of jokes that you can bench press them and beat them up. Which you probably can, and with your military background probably could have done well before CF.
Think about how some (lots of) tall women don't want to date shorter men....it's a cliche because it is accurate often enough. Similar if opposite insecurities.
If it is any consolation it does happen to some guys too. Lots of girls like the idea of a muscular man, will hook up briefly with them but when a) he spends all his time in the gym and b) watches what he eats all the time and c) he makes them feel slightly more insecure in a bikini and they don't want the added pressure of trying to be lean too....same outcome.
On the plus side. You are strong, dedicated, disciplined and fit. There are millions of guys out there who will be very keen on that. Maybe you just have grown out of the pools you used to be looking in.
39 and 40s is tough for dating, tough for platonic friendships too. Lots of people are in relationships and doing other things. Change tactics but sounds like you have lots of assets, no problem.
You are muscular and strong that makes a certain type of guy insecure (small minded ones). They don't want to feel small or be the butt of jokes that you can bench press them and beat them up. Which you probably can, and with your military background probably could have done well before CF.
Think about how some (lots of) tall women don't want to date shorter men....it's a cliche because it is accurate often enough. Similar if opposite insecurities.
If it is any consolation it does happen to some guys too. Lots of girls like the idea of a muscular man, will hook up briefly with them but when a) he spends all his time in the gym and b) watches what he eats all the time and c) he makes them feel slightly more insecure in a bikini and they don't want the added pressure of trying to be lean too....same outcome.
On the plus side. You are strong, dedicated, disciplined and fit. There are millions of guys out there who will be very keen on that. Maybe you just have grown out of the pools you used to be looking in.
39 and 40s is tough for dating, tough for platonic friendships too. Lots of people are in relationships and doing other things. Change tactics but sounds like you have lots of assets, no problem.
@royblizzard I definitely relate to this! Especially since I’m muscular but not lean so to the average male I think I just appear thick and broad. (But hey, on the flip side I have a hard time being attracted to spaghetti arms on a man).
Two years ago I moved to a different box. Mainly for a change of environment (and probably secretly hoping to meet someone new) and yup- it worked. 6 months ago one of my friendships developed into the most healthy relationship I have ever had. Not only do we motivate each other to keep going to CrossFit, but staying active with our dates and hobbies also. (Which I have found to be common with all of my CF friends, not all activities have to revolve around alcohol.)
So I would second what some of the others have said! Drop in at some other boxes, hang out at some local comps and events! I’d highly recommend dating a fellow crossfitter
Two years ago I moved to a different box. Mainly for a change of environment (and probably secretly hoping to meet someone new) and yup- it worked. 6 months ago one of my friendships developed into the most healthy relationship I have ever had. Not only do we motivate each other to keep going to CrossFit, but staying active with our dates and hobbies also. (Which I have found to be common with all of my CF friends, not all activities have to revolve around alcohol.)
So I would second what some of the others have said! Drop in at some other boxes, hang out at some local comps and events! I’d highly recommend dating a fellow crossfitter
royblizzard
New member
@royblizzard My wife is shredded at 5’9 150 and i love it.
@royblizzard My ex immediately told me he wouldn't be attracted to me if I got too muscular. Lol. I'm 5'11" and easily gain muscle. My biceps and triceps and shoulders are clearly defined just naturally.
But, I mean... If you like it, who gives a fuck. Find someone who will like you for you. You can't be everyone's cup of tea, but you're definitely someone's preferred brew.
But, I mean... If you like it, who gives a fuck. Find someone who will like you for you. You can't be everyone's cup of tea, but you're definitely someone's preferred brew.
wannachange4god
New member
@royblizzard 36yo male here and I think CrossFit chicks and really any females that are into fitness are the most attractive.
johankarroe1122
New member
@royblizzard You go girl! Fight the power
lighthouse247
New member
@royblizzard I (52M) started CrossFit a year ago. I used to not really think muscular women were attractive, now I think many of you are irresistible. I always had an appreciation for the commitment and work ethic it takes to be as fit as many of the women I see at CrossFit, so nothing changed in my thinking, but for some reason my perception changed and I went from not diggin it to being uber attracted.
beauharnais
New member
@royblizzard It sounds like the choices are getting less, but the quality should be increasing.
jenkinuikly
New member
@royblizzard Date another strong person!
@royblizzard Obviously your answer is to only date people at your crossfit gym. Bonus points if they are married.
@royblizzard OP, I swear ‘fo’ god, there’s a market for women like you.
feargodnotthem
New member
@royblizzard There is an entire gym full of men that probably think you’re hot AF who are being respectful by not asking you out in your gym environment. Maybe identify some you find attractive and start talking to them. CrossFit girls may underestimate how attractive they are to their fellow gym goers.
april78chastity
New member
@royblizzard Yes, yes, and yes. 40/F here, also a military vet and been doing CrossFit for 7+ years. 5'2" and I hover between 135-140lbs, depending on the week (and how diligent I've been with my nutrition).
It's not so much the extra muscle I've added that's been the issue for me, it's more the fact that I'm having issues finding someone who doesn't look at me funny when they find out I go to bed at 9pm so I can be up to workout at 5am. Or that I track the food I eat, and I prioritize working out and eating healthy 85% of the time.
Most people will always be like, "oh that's so cool" or "I love that you're so strong". Then when they realize what I do in order to actually achieve what they see, they nope on out. I'd love to just find a crossfitter, because we all understand, but I'm a garage gym athlete so the whole going to a box to find someone ain't an option.
*sigh* All that to say, I feel you sister...I feel you.
It's not so much the extra muscle I've added that's been the issue for me, it's more the fact that I'm having issues finding someone who doesn't look at me funny when they find out I go to bed at 9pm so I can be up to workout at 5am. Or that I track the food I eat, and I prioritize working out and eating healthy 85% of the time.
Most people will always be like, "oh that's so cool" or "I love that you're so strong". Then when they realize what I do in order to actually achieve what they see, they nope on out. I'd love to just find a crossfitter, because we all understand, but I'm a garage gym athlete so the whole going to a box to find someone ain't an option.
*sigh* All that to say, I feel you sister...I feel you.
royblizzard
New member
@april78chastity We gotta stick it out homegirl 
remiirekiigbe
New member
@royblizzard I’m here hoping you post a profile pic! Sounds like my type! 
@royblizzard You may intimidate weak men. That probably isn’t what you want anyway. Win win
@royblizzard I hear ya. I’m a bit younger (31F) but that’s been my experience too. I’m very tomboyish too so I’ve pretty much just given up. People say guys are into masculine girls, but I’ve yet to see it play out in real life.
angelevocation
New member
@royblizzard Hmn, kind of the opposite but in a bad way. I find I’m fetishized more than before (I’m mixed race), and frequently get the “you could/should beat me up/you should train me” type comments. It doesn’t work, guys and gals! Anyway, I find people are interested in just my physicality and don’t really care about much else. Or maybe that’s just dating culture in general! Who knows, I opt out, haha