Hot take: ladies, is dating getting difficult after doing CrossFit?

[royblizzard]

@petercm No I stated that specifically as something that could be correlative and an obvious factor. But the other I suspect and the point of this post is that it seems to be more influenced by how well I CrossFit.

 

[davidalbracht]

@royblizzard I think you're just up against demographics to be honest. Men and women your age that want family's have paired off (I'm a 50M and by your age I had toddlers). You're smack in the middle of the lowest single demo and the second lowest single demo for men (retirement age men being the lowest).

Add to it that Americans are generally unhealthy and you're in rarified air.

 

[petercm]

@royblizzard Maybe The kinds of men you’re attracted to aren’t interested in you?

 

[hawleyray]

@royblizzard Insecure men with low testosterone be like that.

 

[aleon]

@hawleyray Typical cringe Internet response. Different strokes for different folks. I like fit girls, some guys like chubby girls, some like skinny girls.

 

[hawleyray]

@aleon No one said otherwise. Outside of a blind date situation, if the OP is sitting across from someone and mentions that they are into fitness and taking care of themselves and the other person is turned off by that then it's going right into that lane of insecurity and projection. Men and women do this all the time.

 

[aleon]

@hawleyray Insecurity could be a deeply person issue which may shape someone's preferences in a partner. I don't see why you'd use that as an insult against someone.

Clearly your 'low testosterone' comment was meant to be an insult as well. Which in itself would be projection on your part.

Maybe someone just doesn't care for sports or fitness and in turn doesn't want a partner who is consumed by that? It doesn't have to be a negative or call for a snarky remark about their hormones. Like I said before, different strokes for different folks. Sometimes it's not that deep.

 

[hawleyray]

@aleon Tbh my comment wasn't supposed to be super deep either. If people genuinely aren't attracted to someone that's not a big deal. But it's not uncommon for some men to be intimidated by women and then try to turn that into them being unattractive.

Sorry a lazy joke didn't spell it out for you.

 

[aleon]

@hawleyray Now it was a joke? It wasn't before, but sweet deflection.

 

[hawleyray]

@aleon Nah I'll stand by the joke for its intent and purpose.

 

[st333333]

@aleon She said she’s I to CrossFit. I bet OP is the type who talks about it nonstop

 

[hawleyray]

@st333333 Oof that would be a hard pass lol

 

[correo]

@royblizzard This might be a “strong women intimidate boys and excite men” situation.

I wonder if your “dating funnel” isn’t just experiencing more drop off up front but you end up with higher quality, more disciplined partners in the end.

 

[kcool]

@royblizzard This age is a tough one. I have a lot of clients who can’t get a relation ship for the life of them. Every guy is talking to 5 other girls at one time

 

[maddieh567]

@royblizzard I think what you need to takeaway here is: you're likely overthinking.

There are at least as many guys who extra love a strong physique as who don't.

Of course this is a specific sub but you are part of two specific communities where strength is valued.

I'm going to guess your habits re going out and how you meet people have changed too, plus age range.

Dating is just harder now than ten yrs ago for many ppl bc of apps, too. Short attention spans, infinite selection.

One thing I'll mention: I like a little more curve on myself - esp being petite - so I don't do strict CrossFit at all. I do heavy deadlifts and other posterior chain + glute building exercises - limit heavy overhead that will build out obliques, quads - use weightlifting as cardio vs trying to hit PRs.

My point there is you can make CrossFit be your own tool. That said if you are happy with your appearance don't change a thing. That matters far more than what any unsuitable men might prefer!!!!

 

[carsoc]

@royblizzard CF taught me to really appreciate people's abilities. My wife has the build of elite CFers (we're not) and some people have made comments about how she looks "manly". After a lot of years of encouragement and reaffirmation I think she's at a place where SHE appreciates her body. She's fucking awesome, super strong, and it takes a lot of fucking work to look the way she does. If someone wants to throw a fit or think she's unattractive - fuck em tbh.

I'm not saying CF is the end all be all, but it's incredibly efficient at providing a well rounded workout that prepares your body to take on most everything. She excels at it and I think she's a fucking bombshell doing it. Slightly jealous that her back looks better than mine - what can you do?

As for your military status - maybe don't make that your identity? I was in - I don't talk about it with anyone outside of folks closest to me... and Reddit I suppose.

You'll find your person OP. Just enjoy the process.

 

[momma2]

@royblizzard My 2¢:

1. Good for you for being 9 years in CF, that’s amazing, keep it up.
2. As previously stated bodyweight snatch at 40yo is super impressive, again, good on you!
3. Thank you for your service!
4. Plucking from a few other comments, I think as you continue to age and continue to prioritize your health and wellness via CF, you’ll find that a lot of people who don’t prioritize health and wellness in a similar or drastically less/ different fashion that yourself, will be polarized by your dedication.

Additionally, anyone (man- or I’d go as far as to say male gendered person) that is going to judge a fit, health conscious, and dedicated person(in the case they only know you do CF, vet status and other aside) and is put off that you have big muscles for a gal, or are stronger than them, or basically any excuse, doesn’t sound like a good companion anyway.

I’d recommend you keep working on your CF skills, focusing in on creating a healthy and happy lifestyle for yourself and through meeting friends of friends, drop ins at other gyms, and other avenues I’d desired, you’ll meet a good companion!

 

[omegastone]

@royblizzard I think it depends. Some guys are OK with a woman who is ripped, but some aren't. Personally I find most women who do crossfit very attractive, but some of the crossfit diehards are a bit too ripped.

That's just my personal preference though, there are plenty of guys who prefer the opposite I am sure.

Maybe you're just having an unlucky streak?

 

[igloodictionary]

@royblizzard I'm just gonna say:

would

 

[leemills]

@royblizzard Almost 40yo, mom of 3. The body I have now is completely different than the one I had when I was 20 (and dating). I was always a little soft, had boobs and curves. I started CrossFit about 10 years ago and got more serious into competing a few years ago. I’m now muscular, have no boobs, and fairly defined shoulders and big traps. I’ve had strangers (usually men) make comments like, “I don’t want to get in a fight with you”, or some other stupid thing like that. I think it’s because it’s somewhat unusual for women to have much upper body muscle mass, and people are interested, so it doesn’t really bother me. I usually end up having a conversation about CrossFit with those people. I know That doesn’t answer your question but I’ve spent time thinking about this as well. The right person is out there who appreciates the commitment you have to your body!