@paulclays I'm that size and as a short woman I absolutely need to lose weight. I'm in obese BMI category and have joint issues and potential liver and blood sugar problems.
Therapist wants me to accept myself at a bigger size
- Thread starter 66bookssss
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- petite fitness rant
poeticallysadchristian
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@66bookssss She’s probably being cautious due to your eating disorder! Im picking up that you felt invalidated by her, which is totally wrong of her to do! But realize if you are at a healthy weight for your height she can’t technically advise you to lose weight but she could have explored those feelings you have about yourself a little better! Plus it has become a bit of a taboo to tell people they are overweight as a healthcare professional so keep that in mind that they could get bad reviews if they tell someone that they could lose a few 
you do you but make sure you don’t restrict too much and under the guise of a professional as your history of Ed!
you do you but make sure you don’t restrict too much and under the guise of a professional as your history of Ed!66bookssss
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@poeticallysadchristian Thank you that’s an interesting perspective! 
@66bookssss She's you THERAPIST. not your dietician. Accepting yourself beautiful in any size isn't the same as "don't lose weight".
66bookssss
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@tashpauls But that’s how she portrayed body acceptance to me.
@66bookssss No that’s how you interpreted it. Keep working with her . Tell her how you feel so she can tell you straight up where you’re adding your own narrative and taking things out of context .
66bookssss
New member
@66bookssss No one has to be overweight to lose weight .
What she’s saying is your emotional tolerance around this is exaggerated and she gave you some advice to try to stabilize and ground your mind set around this.
What she’s saying is your emotional tolerance around this is exaggerated and she gave you some advice to try to stabilize and ground your mind set around this.
@66bookssss If you want a new therapist that would say things you want them to say. Get a new therapist. If you don't think you have body image issues then you don't need to discuss that with a therapist.
@66bookssss You’ve had a lot of helpful comments. I just want to encourage you to see a doctor about your pain to rule out other causes. And minimally for low back pain, you should try physical therapy. It will help you feel better in the short term and help you meet your fitness goals in the long term.
66bookssss
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antoniassi
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@66bookssss I think maybe you've misinterpreted what she said.
She wants you to accept who you are at any given point. Easier said than done, but it wouldn't matter if you were at your ideal weight, over, or under-- it's about being kind to yourself and acknowledging you deserve a break and grace regardless of where you are in your fitness journey.
She wants you to accept who you are at any given point. Easier said than done, but it wouldn't matter if you were at your ideal weight, over, or under-- it's about being kind to yourself and acknowledging you deserve a break and grace regardless of where you are in your fitness journey.
66bookssss
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@antoniassi That’s okay but don’t tell me that I shouldn’t lose weight just because I’m not morbidity obese. I think there’s this sentiment where you should only want to lose weight if you’re really really really overweight otherwise don’t bother. That’s the way she said it to me. She said you’re talking about your weight as if you’re a size 20. I don’t think that’s helpful.
antoniassi
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@66bookssss Yeah, I think at that point she might be pushing her values onto yours-- but at the same time I know thinking about health only in terms of weight (not things like feeling good, strength, stamina, etc) can lead to things like eating disorders. I'm not saying that's what's happening with you, but that might be a concern she has. I used to do counseling and it was a pattern I saw as well.
I think you should tell her about how that comment made you feel! Therapists aren't perfect and I think it's important to address the hurt she caused.
I think you should tell her about how that comment made you feel! Therapists aren't perfect and I think it's important to address the hurt she caused.
66bookssss
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@antoniassi Thank you I will do
inmatetalks
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@66bookssss From experience, I will say appreciating my body at the larger size (2 years postpartum) has helped me be a happier person. And then on the days I do lose a pound or on the days my clothes start to fit slightly loose, I appreciate it even more. When those things happen I feel even that much more accomplished. I Can appreciate things about my body now and I know I’m REALLY going to appreciate things when I hit my goal. just one way to look at it.
66bookssss
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enoughhomeless
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@66bookssss I have about the same amount to lose and my body does not like the extra weight. I'm currently a US size 12/14. I can feel it in my back and my feet. Yes I can move around fine and my weight does not limit me in the sense that I can't find clothes or fit in an airplane seat but I can feel it in my body. Just more aches and pains. And I carry weight around my midsection which is just not healthy. I know people larger than me who feel great. My body does not.
66bookssss
New member
@enoughhomeless This is exactly me!! Some people are fine physically and mentally carrying extra weight but we are not like that. Ughhh it’s so hard for people to understand us. My body aches and I find exercise like Pilates harder to do because it’s similar to calisthenics and you use your own body. I just wanted my therapist to understand me.
@66bookssss Then talk to her about this and not internet strangers. I’m sure she will clear up the confusion. You’re not misunderstood you’re looking for something she’s not going to give you. Change IS uncomfortable that’s the point - she’s going to give you uncomfortable truths and work with where you’re at. You have to be the one willing to be maluable