Fitness is a bit lonely

[rang]

I am loving my petite fitness journey. I’ve got graphs tracking my weight and body fat %. I joined this subreddit (which has been so helpful)! I’m stronger and starting to see results in my monthly progress picture. My mental health is great, and I really enjoy not drinking. Also, getting 8-9 hours of sleep is glorious!

I workout from my garage gym at home, which I think is great. I am not sure if I would get all my workouts in if I had to drive there just because I could excuse it away easier. But I don’t have friends I go to the gym with or anything.

However, sometimes I feel a bit isolated? The people I would typically hang out with like to stay up late and drink. I’m not pretentious or a saint. I’ll go out and partake, but I can have about half a drink before I get buzzed and sleepy. And I hate the way I feel the next day when I don’t get enough sleep or hungover after one drink.

Sometimes I feel “boring” or self conscious that I’m not “fun” anymore. I’m recomping my self, and I am absolutely loving finally taking care of myself. But I also feel like it’s recomping my friends. Except I haven’t found the new ones yet.

Anyway, I enjoy this subreddit (when it’s not ED content) and really like this community! I’m curious if anyone else has felt this way or gone through this? I’m not saying I’m friends with a bunch of alcoholics or anything. I feel like I’m changing a lot for my betterment, but now I feel harder to relate to.

 

[zastari]

@rang You’re not alone. But I would rather achieve my goals than do things that are popular which aren’t conducive to my goals merely to “fit in”. Just shows people really don’t know what goes on behind the scenes to gain muscle/strength

 

[rang]

@zastari I agree completely. I’m doing what I want and what I need to do to prioritize myself after spending most of my life prioritizing others. I just need to find my people!

 

[intermediary]

@rang As your older sister, i’ll tell you one thing that’s true throughout life. Personal growth is lonely. Any time you decide to up level your life, albeit, health, career, healing your trauma, pursuing your dreams, you will be taking a lonelier path. I promise you it’s worth it. Not only will it create a stronger sense of self-love and self-worth, but it will open the doors to finding new people who can meet you where you are now and inspire you to grow. It’s brave to choose to evolve. I applaud you. Most don’t have the courage to face the one person getting in their way - themselves.

 

[ihavenoname]

@intermediary « Personal growth is lonely » damn, take this poor girl medal because that is so true. And it is so worth it! It’s true for my colleague brave enough to go back to school at 35, for my friend who was a teen mom, for my friend who moved across the world from her family. In all aspects it’s lonely but it makes you so much stronger

 

[rang]

@intermediary I feel this. I “cleaned up” socially after I got into therapy, meaning I had to let go of some “friendships” that were not good for me. It was hard. I think I just wasn’t anticipating going through a similar experience while getting fit. Thank you for your kind words

 

[intermediary]

@rang You got this. I quit drinking a year ago for my hormone health and that changed everything. Therapy is another doozie that will expose relationships making more withdrawals than deposits. Making more money will change things too. You’re prepared. Remember the universe will never give you more than you’re ready for. You got this!

 

[misti4u]

@intermediary Probably one of the most useful and intelligent comments I’ve ever come across. Amen to everything you’ve just said. Those are truly words to live by.

 

[keepitsimple144]

@rang I relate to a lot of this! A lot of my friends’ plans include going out to eat or drink, which I’m just not that interested in right now as I currently have different priorities. My workouts are all from my spare room. I’m going to bed about 9pm and waking around 5am and I am really loving this new routine. BUT I agree with you that it feels a little lonely sometimes - I don’t want to be the “boring” friend and miss out on plans, but I’m just not currently in the headspace I was before. I haven’t got a solution because I’m in the thick of it as we speak, as I only really took my new routines this seriously since the start of the year, but just reaching out to say yoire not alone!

 

[rang]

@keepitsimple144 This! It’s not even that I’m on a diet or anything. This is just who I am now! It’s just tricky. Good luck with your routines

 

[sandralois]

@rang It can definitely feel isolating when you have goals that don't line up with your peers. I really wish I had more people to talk to about fitness as its almost a hobby. But there are always tradeoffs in life, and honestly youre ahead of the curve. It will be a lot harder for your friends later on when they need to make lifestyle changes that you have already made

Drinking is especially hard. When I stopped drinking (for health reasons no less!) it was insane to me how much judgment I got from some of my friends - support from my very good friends, but active mockery and peer pressure from sort-of friends. Its such a big part of our culture that its almost impossible to avoid it. I like to either get a seltzer with lime or a diet coke just to have something to sip on

 

[rang]

@sandralois Fortunately I love soda water. It is my go to. I also made an apple cider vinegar/ginger/lemon/honey mocktail yesterday that really filled the fun beverage gap.

I find myself talking about fitness a lot because I’m learning so much. I always tell my husband that he can let me know if I go on too much. Ultimately, I know I would rather be doing my routine now than sacrificing it for friends and acquaintances. It’s just tricky because catching up over dinner and drinks is so default but doesnt align with me as much anymore.

 

[seekingredemption]

@rang I feel this - my fitness and overall health/wellbeing has become my number one priority over the last year and a half and it affects everything. I don’t drink or smoke, won’t stay out late if it means not enough sleep and recovery, and won’t do things that mean skipping or missing a workout. I’m sure some of my friends think I’m less fun, but overall I’m much happier, too! Also hoping and waiting to make new friends that are more at my current level and mindset and in the meantime, I’m focusing on enjoying the me time/solitude.

 

[rang]

@seekingredemption It helps to hear this! I think what I’m feeling is also a mix of guilt for prioritizing my health and wellbeing over everything else. I’ve historically put my needs in last place, and now I feel like I’m being demanding by saying “I don’t want to go somewhere and drink if we could avoid it” or “that restaurant doesn’t really have good foods for me” or “I don’t want to stay out too late, can we go earlier”.

I’m trying to put effort into my friendships because I know no one’s going to knock on my garage and ask me about my macros. But I am a little struggle bus lately!

 

[purestofpure]

@rang In this exact phase, and have been for a few years. I think it’s a natural phase of life, and following your own journey will lead to like minded people.

It just takes time. Also, I’m always open to web friends! I recently gave up alcohol, and am aiming to hit some lofty fitness goals.

 

[rang]

@purestofpure I thought the no alcohol was going to be super hard. But, it’s been amazing. I actually really don’t like drinking now. It just feels like such a drag. Excited for your fitness goals. I’m still in the middle of working towards mine, but I just feel so much better. I get happy for others to feel this way too

 

[purestofpure]

@rang Yes! It’s literally the best thing I’ve done - especially with NA drinks booming! I’ve been getting into sparkling teas

You’ll have to share that mocktail recipe - I’m obsessed with ginger lol

 

[rang]

@purestofpure I played with these last night so I could send them today:

1.5 oz nonalcoholic gin
0.5 oz apple cider vinegar
0.5 oz lemon juice
0.5 - 1 tsp ginger paste
1 tbsp honey
1-2 pinches cayenne

Mix and top with sparkling water. ~60 calories from the honey

The other one:

1 tsp ginger paste
0.5 kola syrup (libre and co is the brand I have)
1 oz lime juice
0.5 oz apple cider vinegar
3-4 muddled mint leaves

Mix and top with sparkling water! ~29 calories

Not too sweet and the ginger and apple cider vinegar give the “bite” of a cocktail. Also, apple cider vinegar has been shown to help blood glucose release if you drink before a meal!

 

[purestofpure]

@rang LOVE LOVE - I had a ACV drink that tasted like a fruited sour !!

 

[rang]

@purestofpure I really loved both of them! I’m gonna make a batch of it when I meal prep and keep in the fridge (minus the sparkling water) because I think it’ll keep well. Hope you try and enjoy