Almost 40 -- Struggling with gains & recovery. Advice needed, please

[wholehalfmom]

I turn 40 in a couple of months, and I'm struggling with two issues right now that I would like a little clarification on. Quick background, I've been going to the gym consistently for around 6 or 7 years now. I'm 6'1" & 225lbs. I workout 5-6 days a week, and currently doing a 3-day split with 50-60min cardio workouts on the off days. My diet could always be better (I love beer and I have a sweet tooth), but I'm MILES better than where I used to be. My questions / issues...

1.) There are times when I have to take a week off of the gym due to vacation, sickness, or just being busy. But it never fails that when I come back, it seems I've taken 2 steps back. For example, if it's taken me 2 weeks to gain 10lbs on my bench, after one week off, I drop back 20lbs! Then it seems to take forever to build that up again. Why is that?? Why does it seem that by taking a week off I'm losing much more than any progress I've gained over a 2-3 week period?

2.) In relation to the previous point, why am I having such a hard time with making gains? I'm not a big believer in supplements or a "magic pill", but I do take protein shakes as meal replacements, and a pre-workout for focus and energy. Not that I'm trying to be huge or anything, but my gym buddies are all saying that I should be lifting WAY more than what I'm currently doing. Does diet play a huge part in any gains? Am I not recovering fully? Incredibly frustrated right now.

UPDATE 1
Thanks for all the info! This has been awesome so far. The main things that I've learned is what can all effect your test levels and gains. My biggest issue seems to be sleep/rest, then diet, then alcohol. I just can't do what I did when I was in my 20's. Not sure if this is proper Reddit etiquette, but since my family doesn't quite have a lot of extra money hanging around, I'd love to hear a solid strategy on planning / prepping healthy meals on a budget that will help me hit my macros. Suggestions?

UPDATE 2
Just wanted to thank everyone for the great advice! I've been apart of another popular forum (outside of Reddit), and it always seemed like a pissing match between everyone, along with who could make the other person feel like a low-life newb. This has been awesome so far. To sum up everything, I need to refine my diet (I never knew that alcohol and sweets could have such a huge impact on your test levels, and ultimately your gains). I'm on an incredibly tight budget, so I'm going to head over to r/mealprepsunday and r/fitmeals for some ideas that will hopefully fit my budget. I need to get my testosterone levels checked. I need to get more sleep. And finally, I need to change up my program. I'm leaning towards the 5/3/1. The more I read about it, the more I'm diggin it. The last thing I need is to figure out what to do on my off-days, because I feel like 60-min of cardio is not allowing enough recovery time. Thanks again, everyone! I REALLY really appreciate all the advice!! I'll post progress!

 

[hereiam2]

@wholehalfmom

when I come back, it seems I've taken 2 steps back

Welcome to "getting older". As you age this will turn into 3 or 4 steps back.

my gym buddies are all saying that I should be lifting WAY more than what I'm currently doing

What do they know about you? They have different genetics, etc. If you've been working out for 6-7 years you will naturally hit the point of diminishing returns. Sounds like it's time to mix it up and try a different program.

 

[wholehalfmom]

@hereiam2 That really bites. I was hoping that it was 'fixable'. It's just incredibly discouraging when I don't see my numbers going up. And you're right about my buddies. It's just a little frustrating watching these guys in their late 40's - early 50's benching over 300. And yes, I do need to change up my program.

 

[victoria52]

@wholehalfmom

It's just a little frustrating watching these guys in their late 40's - early 50's benching over 300.

They may be using different "supplements" than you.

 

[smileyjan]

@wholehalfmom [ sorry for the wall of text -- hope some of it is interesting ]

I'm 42. I started my fitness journey when I turned 39 and didn't want to end up like my parents and inlaws (range of old age symptoms like alzheimer's, dementia, heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer). That year I lost ~50 lb, down to 200.

So, at 40 I started going to the gym, initially I just did a "bro split". Then I discovered SL5x5 and read every page on the website. Including diet and lifestyle recommendations. While I don't follow all of it, many things there have changed how I approach life.

SL5x5 is not the best long term program. It is a great program for someone that's just starting with barbell sports. I'd recommend anyone in that position do it for 6 months, and reevaluate their choice then. In my case, after 13 months of SL5x5, I switched to 5/3/1 and have been doing that for about a year.

FWIW, this week I reached my goal of 405 deadlifts, 315 squat, 265 bench, and 155 OHP. I deloaded many times for various reasons: questioning my form; fear of the weight; vacation; too many failures. What I didn't do was give up -- I kept at it for 2 years, and am quite happy with the results.

So, don't give up. Keep at it.

In general here are my suggestions:

nutrition:

• 90% of your effort should be in the kitchen
• avoid empty calories (sugar, refined oils, processed foods)
  • eating a lot is fine if you're bulking; but at 225lb I bet you want to lose a few pounds (I was there)
• learn to cook; avoid fast food
• concentrate on nutrient dense foods (1/2 of each plate should be green, 1/4 should be protein -- roughly)
• journal your food
  • at least once in a while, to get a sense of what nutrients you're missing
  • I like to use cronometer because it gives me micronutrient details
• don't supplement blindly (you cannot improve what you don't measure)
  • notable exception maybe: DHA/EPA and vitamin D
• don't go crazy on protein
• do go crazy on fiber from natural sources
• if you eat breakfast make sure it's mostly fat/protein/fiber
• if you eat a lot of carbs, eat them later in the day
• eat about 1 handful of raw nuts every day
• eat fish a few times a week

lifts:

• pick a full body barbell program (SL5x5, SS, 5/3/1, or see program list on r/fitness)
  • stick with each/any program to the best of your ability for at least 4 months before considering a switch
• progress is obtained through consistency
  • 1 week off is fine; after 2 weeks drop your weight by 10%
  • deloads are not bad (but it will impact your lifts)

other:

• you need to sleep for 7-8 hours
• try to get sun exposure before noon
• avoid blue light in the evening before bed

 

[wholehalfmom]

@smileyjan Dude, thanks! Thanks for putting in the effort to type all this out. This really is helpful. I'd love to have your lift numbers, man. Very cool. I'm saving this info!

 

[seekerjoea]

@wholehalfmom r/fitmeals, r/mealprepsunday since you asked for nutrition tips in your edit. Good luck!

 

[wholehalfmom]

@smileyjan Btw, I think I'm leaning towards 5/3/1. I'm really diggin' what I'm reading about it. Since it's a 4-day program, what would you suggest on the off-days? I get the feeling that 60 minutes of cardio might not be giving me enough recovery time.

 

[smileyjan]

@wholehalfmom I actually do 5/3/1 on mon-thur (squats, bench, deads, OHP), and repeat my Monday workout on Friday. I find that (a) I like to do squats more often, and (b) I can recover for Monday to squat again.

I only do cardio (30min elliptical) on the 5/3/1 deload weeks. I find that I can breeze through my workout on Deload weeks, so I fill the extra time with cardio.

Weekends are off. I might bike, hike, garden, or do chores but I stay out of the gym.

See http://weightxreps.net/journal/bartman for my journal.

 

[wholehalfmom]

@smileyjan That's a great idea! I dig that. Just wondering, what's your height? Odd question, I know. And do you find that losing fat / gaining muscle came easy to you? I just know that some guys are genetically blessed to put on muscle fairly easily and stay lean (although I read your backstory on the family health issues). I understand that there is no "one-program-fits-all" approach, but if you've had some of the struggles that I have (and possibly a similar body build), I'm tempted to follow your approach and see what happens.

 

[smileyjan]

@wholehalfmom I'm about 6ft. I lost weight by counting calories. I cut my intake to 1500, and dropped about 2lb/week. I find it hard to lose weight while working out. I find it hard to build muscle without increasing BF%. I think that puts me in the genetically average camp.

 

[victoria52]

@wholehalfmom Dude your BMI is just shy of being obese. Given that you say you have a gut, drink beer, like sweets, don't get enough sleep, it seems pretty obvious what the problem is: your nutrition is fucked and you don't get enough sleep to recover. With a 5-6 day-a-week "working your arse off" weight routine and an hour of cardio on the other days, you're tearing down, not building up your body. Fix the diet, stop or cut way down on the drinking, back off to a shorter, 3-day full body routine, and get a full 8 hours of sleep every night.

True story: Arthur Jones once advertised to elite bodybuilders that he could add a half-inch of permanent gains to each bicep, and he did so to every one that took him up on his offer. The secret? He had them rest for three solid days before resuming workouts. What they needed the most was rest, relaxation, and sleep.

http://www.drdarden.com/readTopic.do?id=410097

P.S. Also stopped being obsessed with numbers, unless you're trying to become a powerlifter, in which case you need an entirely different approach. We're all in this for the long haul.

 

[recapturemysoul]

@wholehalfmom 43 this year, yes it's harder when we get older, but I've done progress the last three years by eating right and training consistency.

Get your eating in shape, if you want to build muscle and be stronger you have to eat. Carbs, fat and protein.
If your not eating right not much will happen, been there myself.

I like potatoes, regular and sweet, rice, pasta and combine it with meat and vegetables.

Find out you tdde (Google tdde calculator) and make sure you meet and slightly exceed these numbers.

And start a lifting program.
Many go to the gym and just lift things they feel like and then wonder why they are not ripped gods yet..

Personally I like 5-3-1 for us 'older' guys who might need some lower volume sometimes, so check that out.
Or there's others in the sidebar.

 

[plavious]

@recapturemysoul I'm also in a situation where energy & recovery ability vary widely and unpredictably (three small children, and a wife who works nights). My usual method for dealing with this is a pretty loose 5/3/1 setup where all I "have" to do each week is the bare minimum prescribed worksets, and then I autoregulate extra volume work etc. on top of that depending on how I'm feeling that day. Seems to work OK.

 

[warriorinchrist25]

@plavious Same boat. Problem is, when I have the time and feel good I overdo it, then need more time to recover....and tend to eat more poorly when feeling beat down and tired.

But still, we're doing it and we're in better shape than the vast majority of our peers. (right?)

 

[plavious]

@warriorinchrist25 Doesn't exactly take THAT much effort to stand out in the sea of dad bods, no.

 

[wholehalfmom]

@recapturemysoul Good stuff. Thank you! I'll check out tdde, as well as the 5-3-1. I hate going to the gym without a plan and some structure, so I'll get on that. Definitely ready for a new program.

 

[recapturemysoul]

@wholehalfmom Sounds good, if you go with 5-3-1 definitely get an app for it, helps a lot with the counting and percentages..

 

[tinilildiva]

@wholehalfmom Are you going in a weight lifting competition? If not, disregard your lift numbers.

 

[wholehalfmom]

@tinilildiva Yeah, I hear ya. But it's pretty discouraging to keep going in and working your arse off if you're not seeing your numbers go up.